When telling the story of the Holocaust, one effective way to overcome our sheer inability to comprehend the scope and scale of such atrocities is to zoom in on one or two stories: share one particular experience, in all its brutal specificity, and we have at least a small way into the event—the small details illuminate the larger whole.

One theatre company from the Netherlands, Hotel Modern, takes a related approach in KAMP (CAMP). The production depicts a typical day at the Auschwitz concentration camp, but instead of zooming in into a closeup, it shrinks everything down, literally, into miniature. It’s the accumulation of thousands of small details that has the impact in this case.

Eleanor McMahon thinks it’s time to change the conversation around cycling in Ontario.

McMahon is the founder of the Share the Road Cycling Coalition, who will be hosting the fifth annual Ontario Bike Summit this week in Toronto. She says that we need to stop talking about things like bike lanes and other bicycle infrastructure as a zero sum game between cars and bikes.

“We do polling, and our polling tells us that 89 per cent of Ontarians are both drivers and cyclists,” she says. “The notion that it’s cars versus bikes is overblown, and it’s really not working anymore. Deciding to change the conversation means going out of our way to poke holes in that idea and say from the get go ‘We don’t buy into that philosophy, and just because you say it, doesn’t make it true.’ ”

Photo by Ryan Tir from the Torontoist Flickr pool.

If you’re reading this in the future, consider this a plea for help from a spring-starved, over-wintered Toronto.

And here we were wondering why the local LCBO still had so many bottles of winter beers like Olvisholt Lava Smoked Imperial Stout kicking around. Turns out booze sellers are better at predicting the seasons than some dumb groundhog. Nevertheless, spring is probably around the corner, and with it renewal, new love, and the prospect of someday drinking on a patio again. Even if it all seems a bit far off at the moment, here are some spring beers and spring-related beer happenings to tide you over until the warmer weather arrives.

Soon We’ll Have A Brewery For Every Night of the Year

The number of breweries in Ontario recently topped 100, and here in Toronto new beer makers are popping up faster than you can say “market oversaturation.” We recently told you about the soon-to-launch baseball-themed Left Field Brewery. Over the coming months, look out for announcements from Kensington Brewing Company and Liberty Village Brewing Co., both of which of are on the hunt for permanent locations. (They currently rent production facilities from other breweries.)

While those new breweries take their first steps, some nearly new breweries are easing into maturity (which, in the Toronto beer scene, means being at least six months old). The Indie Alehouse and Junction Craft Brewing are both settling into their neighbourhoods nicely, with the latter now in permanent digs just south of St. Clair. Meanwhile, if you didn’t yet know that Bellwoods Brewery’s retail store is open, it’s definitely worth a visit, if only to get your hands on some of the company’s tasty creations without having to deal with the table service at the brewpub. And while those former new kids on the block establish themselves in the city, one of Toronto’s veterans is getting ready for a new direction: Mill St. Brewery plans to launch a beer-hall–themed extension of its Distillery District brewpub in April, which will include a still for producing bierschnaps (basically liquor distilled from beer).

Spring at the LCBO

There was a point when all the LCBO needed to do in order to improve its seasonal beer selection was stock something that wasn’t brewed by InBev. Those days are long gone, and yet somehow Ontario’s nanny-state alcohol conglomerate continues to outdo itself, season after season.

A few of the LCBO’s spring 2013 releases have arrived on shelves already. Of those, the kind-of-fruity, kind-of-spicy, kind-of-chocolatey, and kind-of-smokey Grand Cru, by Belgium’s Brasserie de L’Abbaye des Rocs, is worth the trip to one of the few stores in town currently stocking it. (Note: The labels on the LCBO’s bottles actually say “Brasserie des Rocs Grand Cru,” So is the malty-sweet and caramelly Bridge Burner, by Milwaukee’s Lakefront Brewery. Also, the infamous Italian sour beer Panil Barriquee—difficult to find when it came here a couple of years ago because of media hype—is back and hopefully not yet sold out. Not to be outdone by the foreigners, the ludicrously packaged Radical Road Canny Man, brewed by an offshoot of Etobicoke’s Black Oak Brewery, delivers sharp notes of peat and smoke in what’s quite possibly the most interesting beer to come out of Ontario in a while.

As the rest of the spring releases are (hopefully) rolled out over the coming weeks, look out for the boozy and highly anticipated Kuhnhenn Fourth Dementia, a barrel-aged ale from Michigan. Also look for the citrus-laced and mildly hoppy 8 Wired Hop Wired IPA from New Zealand. Notable as well is a selection of four beers from Belgium’s Brasserie Dupont, which, if not available at the LCBO’s Dupont Street store, will be a case of bitter irony.

Drink Beer, Eat Food, Help People. Sound Good?

As the weather prepares to maybe someday get a little nicer, you may soon find yourself shaking off your curmudgeonly winter ways and remembering that you do, in fact, care about other people. Here are two ways to show some charity while having a good time:

On April 7, the folks at Dishcrawl are putting on a Brew Benefit. It’s a self-guided pub crawl through various St. Lawrence Market establishments to benefit The Stop Community Food Centre. While the brews aren’t likely to blow the minds of most avid beer drinkers, they would serve as a good primer for that friend who hasn’t taken the plunge. There are also affordable food pairing options on offer, and it’s all for a good cause.

On the pricier (and fancier) side of things, the Brewer’s Plate charity dinner returns April 17, this year to benefit Not Far From the Tree. You’ll be able to taste beers from Great Lakes Brewery, Cameron’s Brewing Company, Granite Brewery, and more with food pairings by such local chefs as Cowbell’s Mark Cutrara and Keriwa Café’s Aaron Joseph Bear Robe. Like at the Brew Benefit, proceeds go to help people in need of food, so consider ponying up.

CORRECTION: March 21, 2013, 11:05 AM This post originally misstated the name of Brasserie de L’Abbaye des Rocs’ Grand Cru.

Photo by Brendan Ross/Torontoist.

It’s still anyone’s guess whether the coming season will be one of sledding, snowshoeing, and merrily catching snowflakes on the tip of the tongue, or just another Vancouver-style rain-out. Regardless, you can always kick back with the bold, boozy beers of winter. Here are some bottles (and events) to look out for.

Every Season Is the Season for Seasonals, But This Season Especially

Releasing a different beer for every season has become the norm for many local breweries, but winter is when the seasonals really shine. The highlight of Great Lakes Brewery’s seasonal cycle, the Winter Ale ($6.95), offers a nice mix of citrus, ginger, and holiday baking spices. If you’re willing to make the trip to Oakville, you’ll be rewarded with bottles of Cameron’s Brewing’s hoppy and bitter Rye Pale Ale. But if you can’t make the trek, try it on tap at one of a dozen bars around Toronto.

If you still associate Amsterdam Brewery with its pleasant but unadventurous Blonde, Dutch Amber, and Nut Brown beers, one sip of Tempest Imperial Stout ($5.95), with its strong chocolate and roast coffee flavours, ought to put you right. That is, if you can remove the dripped wax over the bottle cap and get the damn thing open. And if you’ve ever wished there could be a beer made by the beloved rock group Barenaked Ladies, your very weird and specific dream has come true. Flying Monkeys Brewery teamed up with the group to make the BNL Imperial Chocolate Stout ($13.95), a powerful chocolate brew so good it probably doesn’t need the gimmick.

Winter Offerings From the LCBO: Not Always Cheaper Than a Movie, But Usually Better

When the LCBO’s list of seasonal imports for winter 2012 was announced, the consensus among beer geeks was that this might be a good time to go get a second job. There are many brews worth your time (and money) hitting the shelves over the next couple of weeks, but here are a few that caught our eye.

New Zealand’s Renaissance Brewing Company brings its award magnet, the chocolatey and malty Elemental Porter ($5.50), to LCBO shelves this year. It should pair nicely with all those tubs of holiday treats you’re totally not going to bring to the office after all. From Scotland, Orkney Brewery brings its ominously named Skull Splitter barley wine ($3.30), a smooth brew with flavours of dried fruit and spices.

Austria’s Brauerei Schloss Eggenberg has its fruity and boozy Samichlaus doppelbock, which, at 14 per cent alcohol for only $3.95, is sure to upset those people who want the price of booze driven up to cut down on abuse. British Columbia’s Howe Sound Brewing Company brings its Pothole Filler ($11.35), a thick imperial stout with a re-sealable cap, which should be handy given that the beer comes in a one-litre bottle.

A bit closer to home, Quebec’s Les Trois Mousquetaires brings its sweet and fruity Grand Cuvée Weizenbock ($9.95, pictured above), perfect for converting vodka cooler drinkers over to the world of hops and barley.

Finally, many LCBO locations also still have Ontario Craft Brewers’ holiday discovery pack in stock. While these sampler boxes often contain dull, pedestrian brews, this particular one could be just the thing to introduce a New Year’s Eve party to the world of local beer.

UPDATE DECEMBER 30, 2:37 PM: Because the holiday party is largely over we’ve removed some information about events that have passed since we first published. Winter beer is still very much in season though, and these brews should be around for a while yet.

Public Works looks at public space, urban design, and city-building innovations from around the world, and considers what Toronto might learn from them.

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This week, Tory leader Tim Hudak promised that if he were premier, liquor sales in Ontario would be privatized. The idea has been floating around for decades, of course, and is often trotted out when a politician wants to assert their non-socialism or is just suffering from a lack of attention.

The government booze monopoly has been abandoned in many North American jurisdictions—to say nothing of Europe, where baby formula and table wine are pretty much equally available. Should we do it here?

Change can be good. Ontarians of a certain age may remember a time when LCBO stores were cheerless Soviet-style warehouses where customers reviewed short lists of options before completing application forms for their purchases. The documents were reviewed by grim-faced apparatchiks with facial expressions that conveyed appropriate amounts of disapproval for customers’ moral turpitude. These clerks would disappear into the back, eventually returning with the booze.

We’ve come a long way since then, not just in terms of product variety and access, but also in terms of customer experience. Modern LCBO outlets have bright lights, Vivaldi on the PA system, and cheery Aussies pitching kangaroo-flavoured Chardonnay samples. Would privatization serve us better?

Well, let’s consider what a liquor distribution system needs to accomplish.

PR flacking about “social responsibility” notwithstanding, the main job of the LCBO is to raise money for the government. If the industry were opened up to competition, prices could drop, sales could increase, and more tax dollars could flow to government coffers. However, a 2011 report from the Parkland Institute says that the per-capita government revenues from alcohol sales in Alberta have dropped steadily since liquor sales were privatized in 1993, and that those revenues were lower than in both B.C. and Saskatchewan (where some and all liquor stores, respectively, are government operated).

We also want to provide buyers with decent price, convenience, and selection. LCBO stores today are able to offer a broad array of product, from fancy gift liquors, to imported wines and beers, to the full panoply of “Hold-Ashley’s-hair-back-while-she-pukes” coolers.

This is possible in part because the LCBO has the resources to deal with a variety of vendors, both large and small. But it’s also because, unlike private enterprise, the organization isn’t driven entirely by profit. Where a private operator might stock shelves with cheap, high-margin beers and sweet, disgusting wine-based product, the LCBO can afford to take risks on unusual items. (If you doubt this characterization of private alcohol sales, visit the liquor section at Walmart next time you’re in Buffalo.)

Price-wise, the conventional wisdom is that we pay too much for our alcohol here in Ontario, and that we could do better if we had less monopoly. But in 2004, when the B.C. government first allowed private liquor sales, the predicted price drop didn’t materialize. A study [PDF] from the Consumers’ Association of Canada only two years later found that despite the rapid proliferation of private liquor retailers, prices were higher than in the remaining government-run stores (although it should be noted that all stores still have to buy their product from the government, with large markups). The Parkland study referenced above arrived at similar conclusions.

Finally, the goal of a government booze monopoly is to better protect us from ourselves—to keep us away from the silly sauce when we’re underage, or when we’ve already reached the government-approved level of boozy dementia. While private retailers may comply with the law for fear of punishment, a greater number of stores would increase the probability of there being a few opportunistic owners willing to take a chance and sell illegally.

This isn’t just an assumption. A study this year from the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives found that public liquor stores in B.C. are twice as likely to turn away kids and drunks as private stores. So this category is definitely a win for Big Bartender.

In any case, telling us what to do is what government excels at. The LCBO, in particular, does it well (apart from their controversial policy of selling booze to underage teens in burkas).

And everything else notwithstanding, Ontario has never demonstrated all that much enthusiasm for dismantling the LCBO. Even Mike Harris couldn’t get six-packs into his corner store.

So why change? We have a system that does more or less what it’s supposed to do, and to which the population is basically indifferent. Not a ringing endorsement, but that’s how we roll here in Ontario.

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Fall is a great time of year for beer fans. With the cooling temperatures, appetites change from just craving something wet and cold to hankering for something with a little warmth, spice, and personality. Luckily, there are all sorts of tasty beers and beer happenings to check out after a long day of raking leaves and not watching professional hockey. Here are a few that have caught our attention.

New Breweries In the Junction

Notorious for years for being a dry neighbourhood in a city that was at least starting to warm up to the idea of getting wet, the Junction has certainly come a long way. As the wave of craft brewery openings flows west, two new spots will be opening up soon in the Junction, just a few blocks from each other. Junction Craft Brewing has been making its Conductor’s Craft Ale at Wellington Brewery for the past few months, while holding down a small base by the train tracks just north of Dundas Street. But the brewery will be moving into a new, proper headquarters sometime in early November. According to brewery founder Tom Paterson, the new digs will include a retail store, tasting room, and facilities for other breweries to concoct their creations.

A few blocks away on Dundas Street, the Indie Alehouse is waiting on the final paperwork it needs from the City to open its doors to eager imbibers who have been tasting the brewpub’s creations at special events for the past year. Once it opens, it will have its own retail store, a menu of beer-friendly foods, and plenty of small batches of experimental brews—small enough they can be dumped down the sink if owner Jason Fisher thinks an experiment hasn’t worked. In the meantime, you can check out beer from the Indie Alehouse this Sunday, September 23 at a Brewer’s Backyard event at the Evergreen Brickworks, while the Conductor’s Craft Ale is on tap at the Roy Public House.

Pumpkin Beer for Halloween…or Anytime, Really

At one marvelous point in human history, someone decided that drinking beer while eating pumpkin pie was delicious, but just a bit too much work. Thus, the pumpkin ale was born. And while that snippet of history might not be true, strictly speaking, local brewers are getting on board with seasonal brews infused with the flavours of everyone’s favourite Thanksgiving dessert. Offerings at the LCBO include Black Creek Historic Brewery‘s Pumpkin Ale, Grand River Brewing‘s Highballer Pumpkin Ale and Mill St. Brewer‘s Nightmare on Mill Street (available as part of their fall sampler pack). If you’re in more of an American mood (or just looking for an excuse to keep the pumpkin beer going into November), consider Southern Tier Brewing Company of New York’s big, bold, and boozy Pumking.

Drink Local at Toronto Beer Week

The number of breweries that have cropped up in the city in recent years is truly wonderful, enough to warm the heart of even the most jaded old boozehound. While some people will wonder if yet another craft beer festival is really necessary, our advice is to just sit back and drink it in. Some things you might want to check out: a tasting of Creemore Springs’ 25th anniversary altbier (plus a vinyl record party) at the Monarch Tavern tonight; live opera with craft beer accompaniments at Habits Gastropub on Wednesday night (the event is called, of course, Hopera); and a Beau’s and Great Lakes Brewery tap takeover on Thursday night at Bar Hop. Toronto Beer Week is on through this weekend.

The LCBO Imported These Beers into Ontario, but You Can Import Them into Your Stomach

Toronto brewers have come a long way in the last few years, but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn a thing or two from, say, a brewery that has been making beer since almost 100 years before this country even existed. Two brews from Belgium’s Brouwerij Bosteels—Pauwel Kwak and Tripel Karmeliet— make their way here later this fall. If you’re in more of an Oktoberfest mood, pick up a bottle or two of Bavaria’s famed Brauerei Ayinger‘s Celebrator Doppelbock, or Staatsbrauerei Weihenstephan’s Hefeweissbier. Consume outside, in a pair of lederhosen, with a bunch of loud American tourists nearby for the full Munich Oktoberfest experience. And speaking of America, the Shipyard Brewing Company is the LCBO’s featured brewery for the season, which means a bunch of the Maine brewery’s beers are also on the shelves.

Why Don’t You Brew it For Yourself?

Telling your guests, “Try this beer, I made it myself!” might still elicit fear and requests for “just a little bit… I’m not really that thirsty,” but more and more people are discovering they can brew beer at home that’s actually worth drinking. Whether you want to set up a speakeasy or you’re just looking to make some batches for yourself and friends, you can get a primer on home brewing at Black Oak Brewery’s Rubber Boot Camp in November. Led by a winner of several Canadian Amateur Brewers Association awards, the four-hour courses promise to show you how to whip up a batch of all-grain beer and then get it into bottles and kegs. And if you realize you’re not the budding brewmaster you thought you were, you can always taste the beer of someone who at least knows what they’re doing.

Photo by {a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/metrix_feet/5748136389/sizes/z/in/photostream/"}Metrix X{/a} from the {a href="http://www.flickr.com/groups/torontoist"}Torontoist Flickr Pool{/a}.

A recent push to legalize beer and wine sales at convenience stores across the province has received support from thousands of Ontarians, and also from Tim Hudak and the Progressive Conservative party. But local independent brewers say a move like that could hurt craft beer sales, and that the biggest producers would end up dominating the market even more than they currently do.

The recent campaign to have beer sold in corner stores came in the form of an online petition started by a small-town convenience store owner and promoted by the Canadian Convenience Stores Association, mainly through the website FreeOurBeer.ca. The petition has attracted over 100,000 signatures.

But while the allure of buying booze along with smokes and lottery tickets—not to mention a popular distaste for monopolistic alcohol selling practices—might have some people crying for change, craft brewers in the province prefer the system the way it is.

Ken Woods, the president of Etobicoke’s Black Oak Brewing, says the convenience-store model would lend itself well to large companies with aggressive marketing strategies and the money to pay for premium positioning in corner-store fridges. Smaller brewers, he fears, would be left out.

“Have you ever taken a look in a convenience store and seen any artisanal products, like artisanal potato chips?” he asks. “What convenience stores are great at doing is mass produced products that are very generic, very similar, and have got their distribution set.”

Woods estimates a move toward selling beer in convenience stores would hurt the market share of small, local brewers, and possibly put some out of business almost immediately.

On the other hand, he says the current competition between the LCBO and The Beer Store to offer customers a better tactile shopping experience—exemplified in LCBO product-sampling counters and The Beer Store’s new Beer Boutique locations—steers increasingly discerning customers toward craft beer.

Michael Arnold was involved in a push for booze in corner stores over a decade ago. Now, as the president of Trafalgar Brewery in Oakville, he says he initially tried to help convince the province that the move would benefit craft brewers. But he soon realized it wasn’t his brands the convenience stores ultimately wanted.

“You could just see, they saw us as a lever to get in to talk to the government,” he says. “But what they really wanted was to sell shelf space to Labatt and Molson. They knew nothing about craft beers.”

Like Woods, Arnold says that while the current system could be improved, he would rather work with it. The relatively low distribution fee the LCBO charges helps keep the prices of his beers down. The relatively small amount of shelf space in the average convenience store, meanwhile, would probably drive prices up. Smaller brewers, Arnold thinks, would end up “paying a premium for the bottom right-hand corner.”

A representative from the Canadian Convenience Stores Association could not be reached for comment.

While proponents of beer in Ontario’s corner stores like to bring up the success of smaller breweries in Quebec and New York, where convenience store alcohol sales are commonplace, Cameron’s Brewing president Bill Coleman says brewers in those places have benefited from strong local craft-beer cultures. He doesn’t think Ontario’s craft beer scene is quite that developed.

Still, if it came down to convenience stores selling beer in Ontario, Coleman thinks his brand would fare relatively well. “It would be competitive, but the good micros will survive.”

"Children's Amusements. Boy and girl drinking from mugs." City of Toronto Archives, Fonds 1257, Series 1057, Item 1895.

Three days after my 19th birthday, my parents proudly announced that they would be taking me to make my very first alcohol purchase. In their minds, I’d gone beyond a single sip of booze just twice in my life: on my actual birthday, which I’d celebrated in Winnipeg with my terribly Catholic boyfriend, who sulked in the corner while I did sugary shots with his cousins; and in Italy when I was 16, asking the bartenders to pick my drinks for me or choosing bottles from the cooler because I liked the labels.

They insisted we buy a bottle that day, and drove me to the closest LCBO. I asked if we could go to a more distant location, one in a nearby town with a better selection. They refused, as they wanted me to celebrate the occasion near home. I started to sweat.

As we walked through the doors, I scanned the staff: two restocking beer at the back and a young woman working the cash. I relaxed a little—no one I knew, or who had served me before. Summer hires, I guessed. I grabbed a bottle of peach schnapps, kept my head down, and power-walked to the cash.

My parents wanted to talk to everyone. The manager came out to congratulate me and a great ceremony was made over looking at my ID (my passport, still stamped from Italy). The two fives I handed over for the bottle were damp with sweat. I smiled weakly. As soon as we got back to the car, I immediately unscrewed the cap and took a deep, saccharine swig. My dad yelled about open containers; I felt I needed it.

The Toronto Sun recently pulled a stunt wherein the paper clothed a 14-year-old boy in the garments of a devout Islamic woman, including a hijab, which covers the hair, and a niqab, a veil over the face that leaves the eyes exposed. (The Sun incorrectly used the term “burka,” which is a type of garb that covers a woman completely, from the top of the head to the ground, often with a net over the eyes.) The youngster was then able to walk into three separate LCBOs and purchase a bottle of sambuca with cash, and was never once asked for identification.

The Sun made this their cover story on Tuesday, framing the situation to make the clothing seem dangerous, mysterious, and prone to being exploited. They took fire at “political correctness” and explained that the situation they devised “reveals a deeply ingrained reluctance on the part of Canadian institutions to challenge cultural practices, even when they conflict with broader societal goals, such as preventing underage drinking.”

The only thing the article actually revealed was a deeply racist discomfort with a particular culture and set of religious practices, and an almost pitiful attempt to generate web traffic. This is an example of invented news, revealing a “crisis” that does not exist in an attempt to further a specific agenda: in this case, distrust of members of a specific group. There has not been a rash of young boys trying to buy alcohol from the LCBO dressed as Muslim women. There was no specific incident the Sun was following up on. Instead of using that front page to cover something important, something with weight and meaning and teeth and heart, they put a little boy in a costume they found frightening and instructed him to buy booze, hoping to make a few more people in the world more scared of those clothes and what they represent—what the Sun thinks they represent—as well.

I was 14 the first time I bought a bottle of alcohol, too—my parents’ earnest desire to mark my 19th birthday notwithstanding—in the small town in Southern Ontario that recently earned the title of the safest municipality in Canada for the third year in a row. My face was not obscured, I carried no fake identification, and I was not prompted by anyone else, not even a goading friend. I took some of the cash I had earned babysitting, walked in, and walked out with a bottle of malt liquor that I hid in my closet and drank lukewarm. I hated it. I rarely bought alcohol after that, preferring to simply pour myself a surreptitious glass of whatever bottle of wine might be lingering in the fridge after my parents had company. I had no idea what I should buy and my random guesses tended to be disgusting. Every now and again, though, I would stroll in and walk out with a bottle.

On one hand, it is utterly ridiculous that no one asked me for ID. I was 5’2”, my weight had barely hit triple digits, and I had no idea how to dress myself or deal with the hair my parents refused to let me cut. My face was round and almost entirely without angles. I looked like a child.

And yet, I can see now how it happened. I was wrapped in a different kind of disguise: one of respectability and privilege. I wasn’t allowed to buy the clothes most teenagers had, and instead mostly wore hand-me-downs from my mother (a business executive) and older cousins—blazers and pleated pants, ankle-length cotton dresses with modest necklines. My blond hair, never permitted near scissors or peroxide, gleamed with a winsome kind of innocence. As I was attending Catholic high school, I would have worn a cross around my neck. My face would have been free from makeup, and as fair as could be. I would have seemed the very definition of wholesomeness, possessing all the things most people associate with pure intentions and good behaviour. I must have looked like a godly young housewife to the small-town cashier, running an errand for my equally moral husband.

"Children's Amusements. Boy drinking from mug." City of Toronto Archives, Fonds 1257, Series 1057, Item 1893.

In many ways, the boy the Sun sent out was dressed exactly as I was in those days. We were both cast as mature members of our community, not children or stereotypical rowdy teenagers. We were quiet and demure, and displayed cultural signifiers of religious devotion. We seemed the very opposite of suspicious for these reasons, and so both of our costumes worked. The boy’s success says far less about the usefulness of the niqab as a disguise and more about the general belief that religiously devout, quiet women are probably not getting into any trouble.

While most LCBO employees are positively militant when it comes to carding customers who display even the remotest chance of being underage, the Sun happened to find a disguise that worked. Saying that the effectiveness of such a disguise means that the niqab is dangerous is about as ridiculous as saying that children being allowed to wear any clothes typically worn by adults, or by devout members of any religion, is dangerous. It is declaring any outward sign of devotion, be it a crucifix or a kippah or a hijab, suspect, because it carries with it the implication the wearer is pure of spirit and intention—an implication that can be exploited by thirsty teenagers (or Sun editors on a mission) for other ends.

If anything, it reveals that a greater measure of openness, education, and cultural awareness is needed, perhaps for employees of the LCBO and more definitely for members of Sun Media. We’ve become so uncomfortable asking questions about cultural and religious practices we don’t understand that we simply decry their existence as dangerous and scary, or pretend they don’t exist. A curious and polite question from a cashier about an appropriate, respectful way to handle the situation would have completely defused things. Better training on the best way to handle potentially identity-obscuring modest clothing is certainly called for. Framing a religious or cultural practice as dangerous out of fear and bigotry is not only wrong, it is also terrible journalism.

I’m asked for identification more often now, as a woman pushing 30 in Toronto, than I ever was as a scrawny teenager wearing grim clothing and a crucifix. My hair is dramatically cut, I am covered in tattoos, and my clothes are nearly always in questionable taste. Now in the LCBO, instead of serenely choosing a bottle and silently paying, I am most likely laughing with a group of my friends or listening to loud music from a single earbud. I look like I am up to no good, and, as a consequence, I am carded nearly every single time. I look more like myself now. I’m sure to smile sweetly and thank the cashier each time it happens, and to tell her it made my day.

I Want Your Job finds Torontonians who make a living doing exactly what they love to do, in any field, and for any salary, and asks them how they did it.

Name: Stacee Roth
Job: LCBO Category Manager

If you’ve ever had a gin and tonic or vodka-whatever anywhere in Ontario, Stacee Roth has had a hand in your beverage. Well, not literally. But, as the LCBO’s category manager for White Spirits, RTD and Accessories (translation: buyer of all LCBO rums, gins, coolers, and premixed cocktails), she may as well have. How does a mere mortal go from day-to-day existence to selecting an entire province’s worth of libations? We spoke with Roth to find out.

Torontoist: You’re essentially responsible for choosing what we drink in this province. How do you make those decisions?

Roth: Well, ultimately, I’m responsible for achieving the the sales [targets] for my category. At the beginning of the year we forecast and budget for that in January. We set out business plans early on to figure out what we want to buy in the following year. So, we look at our category performance over the past several months, and we also look at trends in the market—what’s trending really well, what opportunities we have and gaps in the market—and we try to put forth a purchase plan for bringing in new, unique brands into the market.

How did you find yourself in this job?

My background is actually in the fashion business. I went to Ryerson’s fashion merchandising program. When I left school I had an internship at Dylex, which used to be the Fairweather and Braemar chain, and I worked my way up as a buyer’s assistant to assistant buyer to associate buyer to buyer. After Dylex, I transferred over to a couple of different companies. Previous to LCBO, I purchased the fashions for the Shopping Channel. So, I leveraged those skills in buying and merchandising and translated those into the beverage and alcohol business.

What would you say are the unique challenges of the booze-buying biz?

Well, it’s definitely a dynamic position. Each day is extremely different. There are no two days that I can say are exactly the same. But that’s also a great thing about the position, you know, we’re always doing something different. But there are always challenges, throughout the day and weeks, in terms of making sure we have the product mix in place that we want, and that we’re merchandising things the way we want them to be, and that we have the right promotional programming in place. And inventory’s a big piece. Because we purchase from all over the world, it’s important to make sure that we have enough product to satisfy the Ontario consumer.

Do you get to do a lot of travel for the position?

Yes. There is certainly some travel involved. As an example, I’ll be travelling to the UK in May to visit some of the gin distilleries in London. All of these distilleries are really steeped in history and heritage, and really strong quality of craftsmanship. You can’t explain until you’ve actually been to one of these distilleries, but you really feel the passion and pride behind some of these liquids. You know, they’ve been produced, in some cases, for hundreds of years. You can definitely feel that when you visit the distillery sites.

I’ll also be attending the London wine and spirits trade show. That trip will really allow me to get a sense of some of the market trends and new products that are coming out into the market.

Would you say that’s maybe your favourite part of the job?

Probably, my favourite thing—particularly because my background is in the fashion business—is just the churn of new products and working with our suppliers, putting together innovations for the Ontario consumer. Just being ahead of the trends, so knowing what’s trending in other markets and how that translates to Canadian markets, and being the first to market with new, innovative brands. It’s just great to say that, you know, I’m bringing products that people are looking for in Ontario. That’s probably the best part.

A report commissioned by a civilian board that outlined police actions at Toronto’s G20 summit will apparently cost nearly double the estimated price—potentially climbing to $1 million. Though expected be put out in late March, reviewers pushed the release date back at the last minute, supposedly due to RCMP-released documents. A lawyer for the Independent Civilian Review, Ryan Teschner, said a timeline of when the report might actually come out will be given at the end of next week. Because 18 months after the G20 isn’t nearly long enough to wait.

If you thought the most exciting thing about the LCBO (other than, like, the booze) was that on Friday and Saturday nights the line can get really long (cheap thrills, ya know?), think again. The Crown agency is lately embroiled in a scandal related to a recently fired employee’s alleged involvement in embezzlement, fraud and conspiracy, of the sexy, international variety. The LCBO is taking Francois Agostini—who ran the Diplomatic Sales Program (that’s a thing?) in Toronto—and accomplices to court, in a lawsuit to the tune of $2 million. And you thought Crown agencies didn’t have any fun.

Apparently, the TTC will investigate a complaint made by a commuter of a sleeping fare collector on Wednesday. And, apparently, there’s a precedent, with photos of a napping fare collector having made international headlines two years ago. Shocking. People with probably one of the most boring jobs ever get tired sometimes. Disgraceful. Really, people? Really? You’re so mad about this? A driver, fine, not a good person to be caught sleeping, but cut the fare collectors some slack. Or did you think the brilliant flash of your metropass and the glimpse of your well-cut suit would thrill the collector out of the monotony that is his or her job? TTC spokesman Brad Ross, who has promised the investigation, also mentioned that a move to a fare card system will soon phase out human fare collectors. Great. Hooray for less jobs!

Um, you know it’s a slow news day when the pseudo-domestic lives of a pair of birds makes headlines. Nevertheless, the pair of rare peregrine falcons who “fell in love” across the office of romance novel mogul Harlequin Enterprises have done it again. Weeks of shameless copulating have produced three speckled, burnt-orange eggs. Apparently, there was also some sort of birdy love triangle going on, but now it’s over. It wouldn’t be Harlequin without it. Also, apparently, ’cause nature-starved city folk can get all kinds of crazy, there is a live feed of their nest. A live feed.

Hannah Hart is the 24-year-old mastermind behind YouTube comedy sensation My Drunk Kitchen, which has garnered Hart’s YouTube channel more than 7 million views since its first upload in March. We caught up with the San Francisco transplant at her current home in NYC to discuss her impressions of our own fine town after a recent trip here and to throw a few pressing questions from Torontoist readers her way.

Torontoist: What brought you to Toronto, anyway?

Hart: I was visiting friends in Little Italy. It was great!

You many not know this, but the rest of Canada kind of hates Toronto because, among other things, they think we’re trying to be New York. But, since you actually live in New York, do you think we do a good job?

They’re completely different. I mean, New York is disgusting. New York is a shithole! It’s so dirty and gross here. I think Toronto is its own cultural creation and it doesn’t need to try to be anybody else. It definitely didn’t feel like New York. It felt like a big city—a great big city—but I guess in this modern era, when you’re in one big city it kind of feels like all the big cities. Toronto felt more like a European city than an American city, maybe. Anyway, Toronto is winning. That’ll be my quote.

In your Hanada video, you did a lot of good Toronto-y stuff: Kensington, Chinatown, the CN Tower, Yonge Street. Any highlights? Lowlights? Be honest.

Well, Toronto is the cleanest city I’ve ever been in in my life. Just completely, totally clean. And lots of space—it didn’t really feel congested or anything. American cities aren’t nearly as clean. Also, people [in Toronto] are genuinely nicer. Or, maybe that’s just my impression. Although, on the street I said to the camera, “People in Toronto just seem way more polite,” and this guy behind me said, “That’s not true! I just kicked a baby!” There’s one in every city.

Did you get a chance to check out one of our government-controlled liquor stores?

I did! Totally bizarre! I didn’t understand, everyone was like, “LCBO, LCBO” and I was like, “Why are we all going to the same chain to buy booze? Can’t we mix it up? Let’s go to an independent wine distributor. What is this?” It was so disorienting.

In your recent, made-in-Toronto poutine episode of My Drunk Kitchen, you get drunk on Caesars—a very Canadian libation. This raises the question: Caesar vs. Bloody Mary?

Oh, that’s a tough one. But…Bloody Mary. But only because I like when people put asparagus or celery in it, and I had vegetable-less Caesars when I was in Toronto.

And now, the Torontoist reader question lightning round:

Any plans for a drunk holiday edition? Specifically, an ambitious Christmas dinner with all the trimmings after a few too many ‘nogs?

Yeah, that sounds great. I did a drunk holiday for the 4th of July, and I’d love to do one for Thanksgiving and also Christmas. That would be hilarious. Also my birthday’s coming up. Maybe [I'll make] one for Halloween, too. Fuck, so many holidays, so little time.

One reader wants to know how you get that drunk? Are you shooting whiskey off camera?

Through the magic of editing, an hour and a half can be edited down to five minutes! It’s not actually only five minutes in real life! I get asked that question all the time.

What food do you advise never to make while drunk?

Anything that involves sharp objects and a lot of slicing and dicing. That’s my answer. Boom.

What’s your hangover cure recipe?

My real answer is that I avoid hangovers by not getting too drunk. The funny thing with My Drunk Kitchen is that I’m actually much more of a comedian and entertainer than I am a lush. People in interviews are always asking me all these drinking questions and I’m like, “On Friday nights I like to watch Arrested Development with my friends. Maybe I’ll have a beer.”

True or false: beer before liquor never been sicker?

I want to find a funnier limerick to reply with. Let’s just say my answer is: “Wine before wine and you’re ready to dine.”