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Extra, Extra: Fordian Enemas, Open Pools, and Fish Hysteria

Every weekday’s end, we collect just about everything you ought to care about or ought not to miss.

Photo by asianz, from the Torontoist Flickr pool.

  • If this election proved anything, it’s the complete and total reliability of polls. (That statement, of course, has a margin of error of plus or minus 100 per cent—much like polls, apparently.)
  • Do you have signs left over from that election that was decided last night? Are you unsure of how to dispose of them? We were tempted to make comments about sign-disposal that would double as would-be trenchant observations about the political process, but then we learned that you can use your old signs to help homeless cats, and our hearts melted.
  • Today, Doug Ford did not rule out the possibility that he would run for leader of the Progressive Conservatives. He did, though, say, “I think the PC party needs an enema from top to bottom.” Which means he does not know a great deal about enemas, but might know quite a bit about politics.
  • “Canadian scientists created a frankenfish. Is it time to cue the hysteria?” Yes. Probably. We have not yet read this article, but that question about hysteria and the headline “Should You Fear This Fish?” were enough to make us develop a hysterical fear of this fish.
  • First it was the beaches—now it’s the pools, in that 12 of them will be opening this weekend. Toronto’s pools are wonderful places to swim, especially when one has recently developed a hysterical fear of certain fish.

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  • Bumbaclot

    Oh, man. Dougie’s enema nozzle. Brings back the memories, folks. And I don’t mean good ones.

  • VictorianShuter

    I’ve never heard of that ‘two-pronged approach’ before. Is Doug trying to save money on energy drinks?

  • Lutesuite

    That first link, about the polls, is an ironic example of exactly the kind of thing it is trying to criticize. Totaling the degree of error for each party’s vote produces a meaningless number. If a poll missed the vote of each of the four parties by 2%, that does not mean it was off by 8%.

    • dsmithhfx

      Some were relatively close, some were spectacularly wrong.

      • Kevin Love

        Because nobody has the capability to think for themselves and change their mind between the time of the poll and the election.

        • dsmithhfx

          Or the pollsters just asked the wrong people the wrong questions.

      • tyrannosaurus_rek

        Interestingly, most got the Greens right (as defined as within 2%). So I think it follows that the problem is trying to translate popular support into actual seats won.

        • TheSotSays

          What’s the difference between “seats won” and seats removed for parade purposes?

          • tyrannosaurus_rek

            Try harder, you’re almost there!

  • Lutesuite

    Doug Ford may correct that the PC’s need an enema, but he does not seem to realize that he is one fetid clump of shit that needs to be flushed out. A big part of the PC’s strategy for victory was to make inroads of support into the GTA. Instead, they ended up losing ground from the last election. Why did this happen? I can think of two big reasons, and they both end with “Ford.”:

    • Notcleverguy

      Hudak’s refusal to say anything disapproving of the Fords came back to bit him in the rear end big time. You’d think he’d be smart enough to realize that calling out the lying crack smoking scum bags would have curried some favor. I’m sure many, like me took his refusal to say anything as his support of lying, racism, misogyny, drunk driving and crack use. Tough to win an election when you support those things.

    • bobloblawbloblawblah

      I think it was mostly Hudak and Wynne’s fear mongering. I’m skeptical that a lot of people associated the provincial Tories with the Fords. Despite the Idiot Twin Mayor’s uncanny ability to get press, they weren’t really a factor during the provincial election even with the few “outbursts of stupid” surrounding Rob’s rehab and Doug’s asshole comments on the Griffen Centre, The Tories have distanced themselves from the Brother Dimm even if they haven’t outright called for Fords resignation(not many Torys have) Much of what played out last Thursday, both in Toronto and outside was a fear of a slash ‘n’ burn Hudak government.

      • Notcleverguy

        I disagree, The Tories have done nothing at all provincially or federally to distance themselves from the Fords, they all seem as chummy as ever.

        • bobloblawbloblawblah

          Jason Kenney called for Ford’s resignation. The provincial Tories backed away from the idea of Doug Ford running in Etobicoke North and the house leader claimed to not even know the Fords(probably a lie). I agree they didn’t do enough — few of them called for Ford to step aside and go into rehab — but there has been a distancing. The Tories never wanted to piss off those that like Ford — the mythical Ford Nation but I don’t think the Twin Mayors were a big factor in Toronto. Hudak did a more than adequate job of shooting himself in the foot.

          • Notcleverguy

            Kenny was also told to STFU by Jim Flaherty was. Harper also said he backed up his colleague.
            And when asked to comment on being a target of one of Ford’s drunken rants, Hudak stated that he didn’t want to weigh in, and that Ford has worked hard for the people of Toronto.
            To me, these things are tantamount to endorsing Ford, not distancing themselves.

  • Ish Kabibble

    Enemas? Boy, that Doug Ford is one classy guy. He’s enough to make a feller proud!