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Jose Canseco Wants to Be Your Mayor

Taking a swing at local politics.

Toronto politics have acquired a reputation for being absurd. Between giant ferris wheels, cancelled bag bans, and the mayor ordered removed from office by a judge, Google “Toronto City Hall circus” and you get 1.6 million hits.

Adding a new dimension to all this: former Blue Jay Jose Canseco, who announced on Twitter this week that he would like to become our mayor. Rob Ford, you see, has become too much trouble, and we need an outsider outfielder to give us a fresh start. The troubled player has a history of getting into fights, has pleaded no contest to a domestic violence charge, and is known for his admitted steroid use. After proclaiming his interest in a potential byelection, Canseco jumped right into the fray, fielding questions from Toronto Star reporter Daniel Dale and giving some hints of his platform.

Until, of course, he had to turn his attention to another pressing matter: the launch of his anti-aging drink, Ponce De Canseco.

The whole story, as it unfolded over the past two days:

UPDATE, 12:07 PM:


  • James D Paterson

    I think the reaction that a lot of people will share from this news can be summed up in three letters: lol.

    Yes, Mayor Ford is a tool, an idiot, a clown incapable of running a can opener much less a city, but do we really need a baseball player who knows nothing about politics in charge? Is he even allowed to run as a non-Canadian citizen? His strong platform of “u need someone from outside the system to fix things otherwise you get the same ideas that dont work over and over from same people” is a definite winner.

    Stick to sports.

    • Anonymous

      The funny thing is that that platform does get people elected, and what you end up with is the same naive assumptions that don’t work, over and over.

      A plurality of voters: “We need an outsider to shake things up a little.”

      New idiot in charge: “I’ll get corporations to give us money!”

      Reality: “About that…”

  • Simon Sharkey-Gotlieb

    Ozzie Guillen for deputy!

    Seriously, speed up the citizenship. This just has to happen. Maybe he’ll finally get that elusive 30th stolen base from his one year with the Jays in 1998, when he kept running into stupid outs down the stretch trying to get his second 30-30 season and played a role in costing the Jays a playoff spot. Not like I still cling to that wacky 1998 team or anything.

  • Anonymous

    Now every nutjob wants to be mayor…

    • Anonymous

      To be fair, he might not even be the second worst mayor of the megacity era.

  • Anonymous

    Doesn’t it feel like Jose Canseco is already mayor?

  • Anonymous

    Look, look, shiny!

    Toronto MSM looks, and dismayingly so does the alternative media. Turning the mayoral issue into a joke is just what the Fo Bros and their Rasputin want.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe you could change that if you became mayor.

  • Simon Sharkey-Gotlieb

    Seriously though, if anyone takes this seriously, well I guess you just aren’t baseball fans. Go read up on the career and exploits of Jose Canseco, and maybe watch the highlight reel of the ball bouncing off his head and into the stands for a home run, and maybe you’ll start to get this whole thing.