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We Don’t Believe You, Woman Selling This Chair on Kijiji

By David Topping

20100406armchair_small.jpg
“Well I’ve got this lovely armchair for sale. I’m told it is an Eames chair by my low-life ex.”
And that is how it begins—this listing for an armchair, for sale in Hamilton, titled “Eames Teak Armchair: EX ROBBED ME BLIND!” Allegations include not just theft, but a “secret transvestite hooker and cocaine habit.” If it’s a real account of infidelity and betrayal, of which the chair has become an emblem: harrowing. If it’s a fake one, intended to draw attention to the listing and thus sell the chair more easily, yeah, good luck getting someone to fall for that! Oh wait.
The full listing is after the fold.


20100406armchair_tall.jpg
Thanks to Sarah Lazarovic for the tip.

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Comments

  • http://undefined Nolan

    I really doubt that’s an Eames chair. I love most mid-century furniture, but that chair is just clumsy lookin’. Maybe they had an off day.

  • http://undefined Lioness

    So in one paragraph her car has to be sold. In another paragraph, she’d like to put gas in her car. Call me suspicious.

  • http://www.torontoist.com David Topping

    In the same paragraph, her ex bought her car. Rife with internal inconsistency!

  • http://undefined Stephanie F.

    I think it’s funny that her ex’s new beard sleeps and goes out with friends while he picks up hookers…

  • http://undefined Alex

    Dogs eating her face does sound pretty terrible. How difficult it must be to live in constant fear!

  • http://undefined rich1299

    Indeed! makes me thankful I have rabbits instead of dogs, the worst they’d do when I pass out is chew holes in my clothes and pee on me.

  • http://undefined Angella

    for the record, it’s my life savings he’s driving around in, not the car i had to sell to make ends meet…i traded in a new car for a used car.
    it was an ad so i didn’t think the wording through thoroughly…perhaps i should have been more clear with the wording…to read HE’S DRIVING AROUND IN MY LIFE SAVINGS TO PICK UP HOOKERS, rather than the vague wording used.
    my apologies.
    i assure you, what he did to me is very much real. when i face feeding my dogs or myself the reality always manages to hit home, hard.

  • http://undefined torontothegreat

    I really hope nobody laughs at any of your misfortune(s) one day…
    Pretty low Torontoist.

  • http://undefined torontothegreat

    None of these low-life losers will reply to you. Welcome to the passive/aggressive center of the internet.
    I was going to reply yesterday with my own interpretation which funnily enough almost matched your reasons given to a T.
    Some pretty linear thinkers around here…

  • http://undefined EricSmith

    Does this mean that you’re not going to make rude and unhelpful remarks when you hear of someone else’s misfortune?

  • http://undefined torontothegreat

    Following me around? How cute.
    Yes, artists not receiving public funding is 100% the equivalent as someone screwed in an abusive relationship and being ridiculed publicly for not writing something “properly” (hrmm sound familiar?).
    What paint fume induced dreamland do you live in?