They Heard the News Today, Oh Boy: David Miller Re-Election Edition

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31 Comments September 28, 2009 at 10:15 am

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While we here at Torontoist appreciate a bad pun as much as the next conglomerate of web writers collectively writing in the first person plural, said pun was unfortunately the high point of this weekend’s internet commentary on David Miller’s announcement that he would not run for a third term as mayor.
As usual, the comment sections of the Globe, Post, Star, and CBC were taken over by primarily conservative commenters, all of whom are either really really from Toronto, we mean it you guys, or willing to admit that they’re Albertans with nothing better to do with their time than complain about the mayor of a city in which they’d never willingly live. And, as usual, there were a lot of them.
David Miller is, according to these commenters, the greatest incompetent working in politics today. That this can be said while Rob Ford yet breathes is tragic; that Miller can actually be compared unfavourably to Mel Lastman, the greatest joke ever played on Toronto, is just kind of misery-inducing. Granted, David Miller isn’t going to go down as the greatest hero in Toronto history, to say the least, and his hair can best be described as “horrific.” But he’s not exactly Satan, either. Except if you are an internet commenter on a major Canadian news site: then and only then are you aware that David Miller is, in fact, not only the worst politician in Canadian history but also a sellout, a Communist, and possibly the big villain on this season of Supernatural. (He will fight Dean and Sam Winchester with evil demon unions.)

So If Miller Is Batman, Does That Make The TTC The Batmobile? If So, I Would Like To Request That There Be More Publicly Accessible Rocket Launchers On The Subway

Enemies Lists Are So 2007

The Pipes The Water Travels Through Are In Fact Natural Rock Formations Requiring No Maintenance Whatsoever

Papers, Please

Note The Skillful Replacement Of Actual Humour With Cultural References, A Skill First Practiced In Meet The Spartans

Clearly, We Should Aspire To The Lofty Heights Reached By Detroit, Philadelphia and Atlanta

Well, It Sounds Like A Bad Idea, So It Must Be Great!

Fear The Power Of The Carbage Pedal Union

…Wait, What?

Also The Streetcars Will Have Identification Computers To Make Sure You Are Being Politically Correct And If You Do Not Recycle They Will Zap You With Their Liberal Laser Beams

I Thought “Sepoku” Was That Thing With The Little Numbers In The Boxes

MP3-Downloading Pirate or Somalian Pirate or What? You Got To Be Specific About These Things

The Comparison Of Denzil Minnan-Wong To Forrest Gump Was Probably Unintentional

“Loudmouthbetty” Is Not Fooled, Mr. Miller!

And Then He Was All “Yeth, My Marthter,” While Limping Off And Slobbering, And The Union Cackled Madly While Lightning Flashed Overhead, And… Scene.

Just Last Week I Was Talking With My Girlfriend In Nunavut (You Wouldn’t Know Her) And She Was All “I Hate That David Miller”

Man, Do We Have Some Bad News For This Guy

Coming Up Next Week: Torontoist’s Nine-Part Series About Potash Mining, So There

Somebody Still Isn’t Over Missing The Finale of American Idol

If Anybody Knows What This Guy’s Point Was, Please Inform A Lawyer Immediately

And Then We’ll Attack Those Dancers With Police And Dogs And Tazers And Show Them Why They Shouldn’t Block Important Traffic With Their Dancing

We’re Posting This From A Smoking Crater. At Night, The Flesh-Eating Rats Come

For Some Reason The Globe Is Getting All The Beat Poets Lately

But Only Because He Was The Bad Guy In One Of The Saw Movies

And As Always, We Finish With A Sad Truth

Comments

http://torontocopywriter.com Lori Dance

Oh, David Miller,
Scapegoat of the garbage strike…
Will you never learn?
http://undefined wesshepherd

Will Miller’s decision not to run again in any way affect his position as acting CEO of Invest Toronto, a post he assumed after the resignation of Michael Bryant? Originally his stepping into that postion was meant to be temporary until a replacement could be found. Could it be that now he will no longer be Mayor, he will be that replacement? Convenient that he should start a company paid by the city to sell the city, then at the end of his tenure as Mayor actually work full time for that company.
Maybe I’m just being too suspicious, but nothing I’ve seen of Miller’s administrations has led me to give him the benefit of the doubt.
http://undefined McKingford

Yes, and David Miller was also behind the Darcy Sheppard homicide.
Boy, if you wanted to prove Christopher Bird’s point that Miller-hatred brings out teh stupid, you have accomplished your task…
http://paul.kishimoto.name Paul Kishimoto
I’m going to head off the inevitable argument that crops up in THTNT,OB comment threads by saying:
1. http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/
2. Subtracting anonymity is the only reliable fix.
3. #2 may never happen anyplace popular; even if it did, most people would go elsewhere.
Also: the captions are hilarious as usual.
Carry on!
http://undefined wesshepherd

Wow, McKingford, I don’t recall even intimating that Miller was involved in Sheppard’s death (which has not been ruled a “homicide”)yet. I don’t even recall saying I hate Miller.
But if you think asking a question or being somewhat suspicious of the motives of any politician is stupid, I would like to know the address of the optician that supplies you with those rose-coloured glasses.
http://piorkowski.ca/ qviri

I cannot like this enough.
http://www.twitter.com/vicdezen Vic De Zen

Ah Miller…We hardly knew ya! Good luck in your future endeavours.
http://undefined wesshepherd

I’m going to get fired for making a noise if I look at this again while I’m at work. Excellent!
http://undefined panko

You have a point. Of course, Miller did not precipitate the incident that forced Bryant but who knows, maybe he saw an opportunity to get out of politics (talk about a thankless job!) and upgrade his annual salary from 167K to 300K… It would be a smart move. Let’s see if he stays on as the CEO.
http://undefined PickleToes

Torontoist hasn’t been so blatantly partisan in a while. This Mayor Miller stuff is really gettting you guys on the defensive.
http://undefined Green Sulfur

There is no way that this could happen. It is not David Miller who is acting as CEO or serving on the board of Invest Toronto, it’s the person holding the office of mayor of Toronto. If the CEO position is still unsettled by the end of Miller’s term, the new mayor will be responsible for Invest Toronto (either serving or appoint someone to serve on their behalf).
http://undefined Green Sulfur

That would not be a smart move, it would be corrupt. And while you can call Miller lots of things, ethically speaking, the man has been above reproach.
http://undefined wesshepherd

Actually it is David Miller filling in for Michael Bryant, who stepped down. Miller could have appointed someone else to take Bryant’s place.
I don’t know what will happen—maybe I’m wrong, but one thing I’ve learned with municipal politics is never to say “That can’t happen.” Like an arbitrary vehicle tax for Toronto-registered vehicles can’t happen, or an aggressive anti-car campaign, or property tax hikes when people are losing their homes, or bin charges for garbage removal which is already included in our property taxes. If they can think it, municipal politicians can make it happen. Which either means they are way smarter than their Provincial and Federal counterparts, or they have far fewer restraints on their powers. Big fish, little pond.
http://undefined quickymgee

I don’t really understand the miller hate. i must have had my head in a hole. How exactly has he destroyed our city?
http://undefined quickymgee

what’s wrong with aggressive anti-car campaigns? discouraging car use and encouraging public transit lowers urban sprawl leading to increased density and intensification – development and all those other goodies, improves the environment/air quality, and reduces traffic.
http://undefined lunarworks

He unleashed a horde of cyclists and green, socialist hippies onto the poor, oppressed car drivers and tax payers!
(Or at least, that’s what they think.)
http://www.torontoist.com David Topping

WHAT HAVE CARS EVER DONE TO YOU??!!?
http://undefined Andrew

How about, he raised taxes like crazy without trying very hard to cut costs? And he’s pretty much personally responsible for the disaster that is St. Clair Avenue, which he wants to repeat all over the city? For bonus points, his signature campaign issue — the island bridge cancellation — was in retrospect a huge failure: it didn’t kill the island airport, and ended up costing big money to settle the resulting lawsuits. For extra irony, Porter Airlines then turned into one of the city’s best-run medium-sized businesses.
I wouldn’t call him a city destroyer, especially compared to his predecessor. But you don’t have to look too far to see his screwups, and history probably won’t name him among the great mayors.
http://undefined McKingford

I realize that these are the anti-Miller talking points, but it would be nice, once in a while, if they were remotely factual.
To begin – taxes. He has limited property tax increases to the rate of inflation, and kept business taxes even lower. This is especially significant given that his neanderthal predecessor stuck the city with a significant structural deficit with his idiotic “no taxes” pledge.
St. Clair was significantly delayed by litigation. Blaming Miller personally for St. Clair makes as much sense as blaming him personally on days the garbage truck goes by without stopping to pick up your garbage.
The bridge – canceling it cost the city $0. The subsequent payoff to Deluce was done by choice (because the lawsuit had zero legal merit) by the feds and the Toronto Port Authority (which have nothing to do with the city). The $35M payoff borders on corruption, and much of it created the seed money for Porter. I’m sure most people could do quite nicely in setting up a business if someone gave them a free $20M.
I think you are most wrong about Miller’s legacy.
10-15 years from now, as we ride Transit City, the Spadina extension, see the completion of Regent Park, the development of the lower Don, and generally live in a less corrupt, more humane and livable city, we will think back with thanks to David Miller and wonder what the hell people were complaining about.
http://undefined McKingford

The natural extension of your ridiculous conspiracy insinuation is that Miller had to get rid of Bryant (right after hiring him) to feather his own bed.
~
The Sheppard death is most certainly a homicide (nobody will “rule” on whether it was or not anyway). A homicide is when someone causes, directly or indirectly, the death of another. What Bryant may hope for is that this is determined to be a non-culpable homicide
http://undefined Andrew

Concerning taxation, I’ll provide you with some helpful links:
http://www.toronto.ca/taxes/mltt.htm
http://www.toronto.ca/finance/revenue_tools.htm#pvt
Both taxes are new and regressive: they disproportionately affect the lower middle class, who generally need a car (as they can’t generally afford to live in range of good transit) and for whom most of their equity is tied up in their home.
To pretend these taxes don’t exist — as you do — is willful blindness, at least. I also notice you don’t address my point about controlling the city’s spending.
St. Clair was a signature issue of the last election, and I voted for the mayor in part because of it. I’ve since become disillusioned both with him and his grand project — frankly, in retrospect, I think John Sewell was right. The litigation ended three years ago, and thus had nothing to do with the major design and construction problems that have occurred since then. And after all that trouble, the mediocre result is disappointing: the city apparently learned nothing from Spadina; we still have far-side, closely-spaced stops and wonky traffic priority. As a trial run for Miller’s “legacy” project, it does not bode well, especially since we hear that far-side stops will once again be used in Transit City.
Whether or not canceling the bridge cost the city $0, it still cost taxpayer money. And the value of the settlement is nothing in the aviation industry: just look at Zoom, JetsGo, and host of other startups that burned through their cash and collapsed. Porter has been around long enough that they must be doing something right.
As for legacies, we will see. What I see is a guy who over-promised and under-delivered, and I think history will see him the same way.
http://undefined Solex

Kind of like the ones that supply you with your neoconservative neanderthal bullshit beliefs that are similar to the ones mentioned in the article.
http://undefined Solex

And he’s pretty much personally responsible for the disaster that is St. Clair Avenue, which he wants to repeat all over the city?

Only a disaster to a car-lover like you, for whom transit is obviously a waste of money. Not everybody can drive a car like you, genius.
Time will tell-if and when Transit City is ever built-how great an idea this was. I bet it will be quite positive, and backward people like you will be left in the dust.
http://undefined wesshepherd

If “Transit City” is ever going to exist in any practical sense the service must actually be that–a service. That is, something someone can use at any time of the day or night with equal convenience.
This is the bus and subway schedule according to the TTC website.
http://www3.ttc.ca/Routes/index.jsp
So if you get off work between 1:30 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. good luck getting a bus or jumping on the subway to get home. And if you want to go out on a Sunday, don’t bother doing it before 9:00.
Face it, for the people whose lives don’t fit the neat little schedule the TTC has set up a car is a necessity, but if you live in Miller’s Toronto, even that will cost you more than if you live outside it.
http://undefined wesshepherd

It’s not a conspiracy theory, it’s a question.
You’re right about the word homicide, if you want to break it down to its Latin roots. However as we are discussing points of law rather than grammar, I believe that the word manslaughter applies more to the result of Bryant’s actions. This is just a matter of semantics though, so I will agree to disagree with you.
Thanks for taking the time to read my comments and comment back, by the way.
http://undefined Andrew

Thanks for giving me a laugh. I read your comment on my phone as I was taking the TTC to work, as I do every morning. I don’t own a car and don’t really see the need to. However, I’m not the kind of guy who is willing to forgive all sins just because the vehicle has steel wheels, as so many other Torontonians apparently are.
St. Clair is a turkey, which should be obvious to anyone who has seen proper tram systems in other cities (even in the USA). The St. Clair experience bodes ill for the rest of Transit City. But as a transit rider, I hope I’m wrong — because that kind of multi-billion-dollar investment opportunity won’t come again.
http://rantspectacle.blogspot.com/ mccool

You can borrow my bicycle, if you want.
http://undefined wesshepherd

A very civilized offer–thank you!
http://undefined TokyoTuds

I too live without a car in Toronto thanks to the TTC. I have my complaints, but I chose my location so that I can take advantage of public transport.
There are many who cannot drive among the elderly, not to mention children and teenagers. Many others cannot afford to keep a car on the road. Drive if you like, but strong public transport is critical infrastructure to any city.
http://undefined wesshepherd

Very well said. Public transport needs to be available and convenient if it’s to be a viable alternative to personal vehicles.
http://undefined spacejack

Oh hey cool, now Torontoist has its very own “No Spin Zone”.

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