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news

Cops Caught With Crops, Peeing In Shops, Comic Gets Props

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Two Toronto police officers, along with three correctional officers and a real estate agent among others, were arrested yesterday for producing and distributing marijuana during a takedown of 63 grow ops across the GTA. Torontoist has made a principled decision not to make jokes about police malfeasance, mainly because our real names are printed at the bottom of each post.
Remember that time you were shopping and had to go to the bathroom really bad, and the store manager said “Sorry, we don’t have a washroom here,” and you almost peed your pants but just barely made it home in time? Howard Moscoe heard about that and is determined to enforce the requirement for retailers to provide public washroom space in the city.
It looks like Ontario’s economy is suffering so much that we’re on the brink of a recession, following a dip in the GDP of 0.3%. On the bright side, this is only terrible news for Ontarians who know what “GDP” stands for. Wait—that’s everyone.
The Province is petitioning Ottawa to allow Las Vegas-style, single-game sportsbook betting in Ontario’s casinos in order to boost revenues, and also possibly to add to the number of problem gamblers who are suing Ontario’s casinos for $3.5 billion for making it too easy for them to gamble. The good news is if everyone gets their way, the gamblers will be able to put their $3.5 billion on the Lakers to beat the spread.
Finally, Toronto funnyman Seán Cullen totally rocked it last night on Last Comic Standing, where he advanced to the Hollywood stage. Let this be a lesson to you kids: it’s always worthwhile to write songs about porn, no matter what your grandparents say.
Photo by Iguana Jo.

Comments

  • Lands Down

    “the gamblers will be able to put their $3.5 billion on the Lakers to beat the spread.”
    I think the NBA required that Ontario eliminate betting on basketball as a precondition to us getting the Raptors. I’m not sure if that was just proline, but betting is one of the big reasons the NBA’s declined to move a team to Las Vegas so far.
    I wonder what impact the downturn will have on all of the gardiner takedown/bike lane expansion/transit city stuff? Outlook not so good!

  • rek

    Why is Sean Cullen on that show? I thought he was already an established comedian. Not that funny, but established.
    And am I the only one who hasn’t noticed any economic decline here in Toronto/Ontario? It’s almost as if they want a recession so they just keep talking about it.
    And public washrooms in stores, finally! That’s how they do it in Japan and it works.

  • PickleToes

    Hey rek, remember you asked for evidence from the centre/left that Ontario’s economy is suffering? This article includes that.

  • Miles Storey

    The English guy on Last Comic Standing is an established comedian as well. I have no idea about the others, I haven’t actually watched the show, but it’s odd they don’t have an amateurs only rule.
    Cullen had his own CBC show, and he’s been on Letterman, you’d think that would be enough to disqualify him as a new name.

  • rek

    PickleToes – The article says both banks foresee a rebound in 2009, and it says we still have another quarter before this could be considered a recession. Pessimism isn’t evidence. I stand by my earlier statement that this seems to be something conservatives have decided and are pushing for political reasons.

  • Green Sulfur

    I was so glad tha Sabrina Jaleel or whatever her name is didn’t get through the first round of Last Comic. She might be the least funny comic with a steady TV deal and frequent column inches with major national media outlets.

  • PickleToes

    rek: Obviously there is something more substantial to the article than a description of an economist’s pessimism, or else there wouldn’t be anything to rebound from.