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Culture

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Young Terrorists Are Stupid, Air Canada Cuts Jobs, Italy Clutches Ankle And Declares Victory

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The younger members of the “Toronto 18″ were clueless dupes, according to the RCMP informant on the case. Best line from the story: “At one point, he said, the leaders hid in the bushes and made wolf and bear noises.” Thank God we caught them early or they would have been making animal noises outside of Parliament!
Ontario’s ombudsman says that there’s tons of crap the government still does wrong. He also says he wants the authorities to investigate municipalities, universities, schools, hospitals, and children’s aid societies. He continued “…and also auto repair shops, laundromats, that Chinese restaurant that never gives me enough dumplings, homes with too many plate-glass windows, orange cats, coniferous trees, the colour blue…” as they dragged him off.
Air Canada announced it’s going to cut capacity by seven percent and eliminate 2,000 jobs by the end of the year, mostly because oil is getting expensive and they need to make sure they have no unprofitable flights. In other news, Air Canada has scheduled five flights for 2009, and tickets for these flights will cost seven hundred thousand dollars apiece.
The Liberal Party will release its carbon tax plan on Thursday. The Conservatives have already responded in advance by creating a mascot to ridicule Dion. Their mascot is a cartoony little blob of oil. Sometimes, the Conservative Party makes jokes entirely superfluous, and this is disturbing.
Finally, Italy beat France in their Euro Cup match yesterday, and Toronto fans celebrated, emulating the Azzuri by dropping down to the ground, rolling around in “pain,” and whining about nonexistent injuries.
Photo (of probably terrorists) by boskizzi.

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