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Young Terrorists Are Stupid, Air Canada Cuts Jobs, Italy Clutches Ankle And Declares Victory

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The younger members of the “Toronto 18″ were clueless dupes, according to the RCMP informant on the case. Best line from the story: “At one point, he said, the leaders hid in the bushes and made wolf and bear noises.” Thank God we caught them early or they would have been making animal noises outside of Parliament!
Ontario’s ombudsman says that there’s tons of crap the government still does wrong. He also says he wants the authorities to investigate municipalities, universities, schools, hospitals, and children’s aid societies. He continued “…and also auto repair shops, laundromats, that Chinese restaurant that never gives me enough dumplings, homes with too many plate-glass windows, orange cats, coniferous trees, the colour blue…” as they dragged him off.
Air Canada announced it’s going to cut capacity by seven percent and eliminate 2,000 jobs by the end of the year, mostly because oil is getting expensive and they need to make sure they have no unprofitable flights. In other news, Air Canada has scheduled five flights for 2009, and tickets for these flights will cost seven hundred thousand dollars apiece.
The Liberal Party will release its carbon tax plan on Thursday. The Conservatives have already responded in advance by creating a mascot to ridicule Dion. Their mascot is a cartoony little blob of oil. Sometimes, the Conservative Party makes jokes entirely superfluous, and this is disturbing.
Finally, Italy beat France in their Euro Cup match yesterday, and Toronto fans celebrated, emulating the Azzuri by dropping down to the ground, rolling around in “pain,” and whining about nonexistent injuries.
Photo (of probably terrorists) by boskizzi.

Comments

  • Terence

    by dropping down to the ground, rolling around in “pain” and whining about nonexistent injuries
    Portugal didn’t play

  • anaksemuabangsa

    As Arbeloa, a spanish defender, puts it: “Italy are always the same: they scrape through and then win the tournament.”
    I am crossing my fingers hoping Spain’s going to send them home soon but they’ve not won against Italy in about 80 years.

  • Terence

    Well Italy’s midfield is screwed a bit with Gattuso and Pirlo out….. but hell if it took the dutch 30 years to beat Italy…… Sunday might be your day, just watch out for red hot Buffon

  • andrew

    Mubin Shaikh is hilarious, or at least sounds like he’s funny, when his testimony is read back by CBC newsreaders.

  • anaksemuabangsa

    They’re definitely going to miss Pirlo and Gattuso. I think they’re also hurting without Cannavaro in the backline, although I have not been paying much attention to the Italian team make up as I used to. And Luca Toni is on to win the tournament’s “Would have scored 5 goals by now if not for…Myself” prize. Whatever’s up with him, I hope it stays that way.
    Spain should take a leaf out of MvB’s book for the Oranje guide to defeating the world champions and their runners up, but what is worrisome is that as most of the people in Spain are absolutely shitting themselves at this fixture, they might actually psyche themselves out of the tournament mentally.