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Introducing Ask Torontoist
Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.
Monday
Canterbury's Law debuts tonight, and sadly, it's got absolutely nothing to do with Geoffrey Chaucer, as much as some people were hoping. Instead, this show stars Jolianna Margulies as a rebellious defense attorney (I know, another television show about a lawyer, what are the odds) who takes on the clients nobody else wants to take... and who are (as far as I have seen) always innocent! What a stroke of luck for her. Someday somebody's going to make a TV show about a lawyer who defends total scumbags, and that's okay because everybody deserves equal representation before the law. Then the world will explode. (Global, 8 p.m.)
Remakes are usually a mixed bag, but the 1999 remake of The Thomas Crown Affair is the rare remake that actually improves upon the original. Turning Crown into an art thief from the bank robber he was in the Steve McQueen original was an inspired change, one that simply fits the stylish, thrill-seeker nature of the character better. And Rene Russo manages to out-tough and out-cool Faye Dunaway's original role, which is no small feat. (Spike, 9 p.m.)
Tuesday
American Idol moves into the top 12, and this season is still the most boring ever. I would almost rather watch Randy Jackson Presents America's Best Dance Crew, but the effort to turn on MuchMusic at a random time during the day so I can watch it is far too much trouble for me to bother. Anyway, expect Randy and Paula to be hammy idiots and for Simon to be hammy and vaguely sensible and fair, and for a mediocre singer to get eliminated. (CTV, 8 p.m.)
Cancelled show alert: MVP got the boot (along with Intelligence) by the CBC. Apparently Canadians are not that interested in the secret lives of hockey wives who have illicit dirty sex and shopping. (9 p.m.)
The Simpsons rerun of the week: "I Love Lisa." Ralph Wiggum falls for Lisa, then inspires the town with his portrayal of George Washington—one of the truly great all-time Simpsons episodes. (CFMT, 10 p.m.)
Wednesday
One summer, when I was about sixteen, my younger siblings borrowed Born Free (on videotape!) from the library, and for the rest of the summer they wouldn't stop singing the damn song. "Born FREEEEEE, as free as the WIIIIIIND BLOWS, as free as the GRAAAAASSS GROWS, Elsa my CHIIIIIIILD..." And, being the oldest child, I was of course not allowed to strangle them. Which explains why when I saw the listing for it, I twitched involuntarily. (Vision, 9 p.m.)
You know, sooner or later some Buddhist monk is going to realize that The Moment of Truth can be beaten by anybody with a solid grasp of lucid meditation skills, and then that monk's monastery is going to get itself a big-ass flatscreen television. (CTV, 8 p.m.)
Thursday
Sneaker Confidential is the latest in CBC's always-interesting run of Thursday night documentaries. This one is about—well, running shoes. I have no idea how this will end up being interesting, but the CBC Thursday night doc very rarely disappoints. (8 p.m.)
"That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here? Close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave." Glengarry Glen Ross, and if you haven't seen it yet, then you really can't miss it. (Bravo, 9 p.m.)
Friday
Fox debuts The Return of Jezebel James, their new sitcom starring Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose, with back-to-back episodes tonight. Given that they're debuting a sitcom on Friday night, the odds that it's going to last are... slim, to say the least. But come on, it's Parker Posey. (8 p.m.)
Despite its ratings going up a bit in its new Friday night slot, jPod also got the axe from the CBC last week. It was an entertaining little show, well made, and sometimes these things just don't get the audience they deserve, and the CBC can't often afford to throw money at a critically acclaimed moneyloser like American networks sometimes do. Pity. (9 p.m.)
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I choo choo choose you!
...and there's a picture of a train!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
jPod was just finding its stride too. Before jPod, I couldn't remember the last time I electively watched Canadian programming.
And who the hell watches television at Friday at 9pm... other than... I guess... jPodders.
To hell with JPod, bring back The Beachcombers!
Juliana Margulies, not Johanna.
er, two N's - Julianna
Are you guys kidding? jPod sucked.
Good riddance.
The ads didn't help jPod either. In those endless ads for the winter season, all I remember is a flash of some shirtless guy followed by a girl hooting with joy... and I thought, "Hmm... I think I'll re-watch the IT Crowd now."
This one time I was watching jPod...and then I got bored.
CBC "can't afford to throw money at a critically acclaimed moneyloser"? Why the hell is it even funded then??
CBC TV is now no different than any other commercial network, except for the fact that it flushes $1 billion of taxpayer dollars down the toilet every year.
Is that Gawdawful show Godiva's still on the air? The only good thing about it is that cutie, Erin Karpluk.
The Return of Jezebel James is interesting if only because Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino is directing/writing.
But from the clips I've seen, mmm it's not so fab. It has a laugh track. Enough said.
"My doctor said, I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my fingers out of there."
I really tried liking jPod, but after a few episodes the writing got really bad...
I also really liked Intelligence, but I have almost all of this season sitting on my hard drive and just can't get in the mood to watch it.
One of the best Simpsons episodes ever. I love Ralph's transformation into theatrical legend.
"But couldn't we just give in to the British?"
"NEVER!!!"
"Look in the tunk."
("I think he means "trunk.")
"You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half."
no big surprise about any of CBC's cancellations.
Here's a tip: When advertising a television show you should air specific ads for specific episodes. You know how ads for Corner Gas go something like: "On the next Corner Gas Brett something thing, while his parents do something too, plus the cops do this." and then they show some funny clips that make you want to watch the show.
On CBC it doesn't matter what show we're talking about they always have just one commercial they replay over and over and over. Except Little Mosque on the Prarie. strange.
"So... do you like... stuff?"
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
"My doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my fingers out of there."
"Hello, IT, have you tried turning it off and on again?" *click*
Ralph had a good one this weekend: "When he grows up, I want to be like me!"