Televisualist: Wal-Mart, Bull, and Striking's Cool

Monday

Tonight on The Bachelor: "The Women Tell All." (Except how most of them had sex with the bachelor-guy off-camera and that nobody mentions that this practice is more or less de rigeur for this profoundly misogynistic show.) (City, 10 p.m.)

Teletoon's cycle of Futurama reruns begins again tonight with "Space Pilot 3000." If you're one of those unlucky people who hasn't seen Futurama, it's like The Simpsons, except it had all the good writers during that latter show's creative nadir a few years back. (8:30 p.m.)

Tonight on Mythbusters: it's the one where they play around a lot with Mentos and pop. Can't go wrong with that. (Discovery Channel, 8 p.m.)

Tuesday

Tonight on Survivorman: a best-of-the-second-season clip show. It's all the surviving you could hope for, except much more of it and in much less time! (Outdoor Life, 8 p.m.)

On a less survivor-y note, Wal-Mart Nation debuts tonight on Newsworld, and the Canadian documentary about the world's largest retailer is both remarkably fair and balanced (in a for real way, not a Fox News way) and often insightful, and well worth your viewing time. (10 p.m.)

Wednesday

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is quite possibly the world's longest and best example of how not to adapt a beloved comic book. Whether it's Sean Connery limping around as the supposed hero, turning the Mina Harker character into an out-and-out vampire instead of simply being a feminine badass, or a plot that makes no sense whatsoever, this is one of the most gloriously awful train wrecks of the new millennium. If you like crap, this is a goldmine. (City, 9.pm.)

And if you don't want to watch crap... um. Kitchen Nightmares is new this week, and Gordon Ramsay will make fun of stupid restaurant people, and that is always entertaining. Even if the original British series was better and pandered less. (Global, 9 p.m.)

Thursday

The Hollywood writers' strike shut down some shows faster than it did others. Tonight's episode of The Office, for example (featuring Michael Scott being deposed as a witness), is either the second last or last episode in the can, as most of the performers on the show are WGA members and writers for the show themselves: specifically, Steve Carell, along with the people who play Ryan, Kelly, and Toby. So enjoy it. If you don't care about the writer's strike, that is. (If you do care about the strike and want to support the writers, but don't want to miss out on your Office fix—or for any other WGA-scripted show, come to think—there's always this thing called Bittorrent.) (NBC, 9 p.m.)

Ugly Betty likewise shut down fast, because America Ferrera refused to cross picket lines, and you can't make Ugly Betty without Betty. You know who is awesome? America Ferrera. (City, 8 p.m.)

Friday

Speaking of the writer's strike, expect to see a whole frigging lot of Deal Or No Deal in the near future, so tonight's new episode is not really that big a deal. On the bright side, it is probably a better show than Farmer Wants A Wife will be. Yes, there really is a show coming up in the near future called Farmer Wants A Wife. (E!, 8 p.m.)

And do you believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days? Bull Durham. Oh yes. (AMC, 8 p.m.)