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Peterborough Man Sentenced To No Girlfriend

It’s a familiar story:
Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl breaks boy’s heart. Unfortunately for girl, boy is diagnosed with a dependent personality disorder. This is where things get more complicated.
Boy argues with girl, and she tries to phone the police. Boy cuts the phone cord and attacks girl. When the police arrive, boy stabs himself in the aorta with a butcher knife. A psychiatric examination reveals that boy has “difficulty coping with rejection.”
The familiar story has an unfamiliar outcome. 24-year-old Steven Cranley of Peterborough has been banned by Justice Rhys Morgan from having a girlfriend until completing proper therapy, but no jail time. “[Cranley] cannot form a romantic relationship of an intimate nature with a female person,” says Morgan. “That is the only way I can see the protection of the public is in place.”
As far as Cranley’s lawyer knows, this is the first no girlfriend order ever handed out.
Photo by Wysz. Thanks to Marc Hodges for tipping us off!

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Comments

  • jake

    makes me proud to be from peterborough.

  • Adam Sobolak

    I predict a Phil Spector future for this lad…

  • chris

    damn.
    i know what that guy feels like … not in the stalking/losing-ones-mind sense, but in the sentenced-to-no-girlfriends sense, but not do to a judicial sentencing, but more in a karmic/fate sense ….

  • rapi

    …perhaps we all need a girl/boyfriend cleansing once in a while, or should it be called a detoxxxxx….

  • dj

    don’t believe everything you read……