Juice! Juice, please, Saturday. And then some news: the Ford family history with illegal drugs, Rob Ford denies allegations and ends no confusion, the elephants denied boarding, Metrolinx revenue tools unveiled, and a warning for Fast and Furious fans.
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Not many a day comes along when we can eat duck-topped pancakes, so savour Saturday. In the news: Maple Leafs avoid the axe, your greatest elevator fears come true, new cycling facilities for City Hall, and some bad math.
It's that kind of Saturday Mr. Rogers would be a fan of, so get out and soak it in. But first, some news: Scarborough subway revival, councillor in trouble over unpaid internship, Brian Burke sues the internet, a royal's in town, and one man killed by two cops in Scarborough.
Saturday would go out tonight, but it hasn't got a thing to wear. Try on some news for size: support for Porter expansion, McCallion in court, potential sexual assault detailed on Facebook, no one wants to pay for transit, and road closures.
Welcome to the beautifully disorienting day that is the Saturday of a long weekend. Here, some news, to regain your centre: Don Cherry's opinion of the Robert Kachkar verdict, a new park for Regent Park, and why Jesus was blocking traffic on Friday.
It's the last Saturday of winter, so make it count—or winter will haunt you. Sorry, them's the rules. In the news: Other cities mad about Toronto's casino deal, city councillor's brother signs up to lobby for a casino, money found for TCHC repairs, some people are visiting the waterfront, and a cool kid is having a party.
Much like an energy-saving lightbulb, your Saturday is slowly getting started. Amp it up with some news: arrest in the subway stabbing, teacher sent home for making bad jokes, pandas on a plane, crackdown on something called Izms, police murder charge thrown out, and no subway service for some.
If Saturday night's all right for fighting, surely Saturday day's all right for frittata. In the news: protestors arrested at City Hall last night, a decision on banning strollers from the TTC, an excuse for slow streetcars in December, new license requirements for tattoo parlours, Rob Ford on road tolls, and a sad chart.
Ready or not, here Monday comes, you can't hide. Gonna find you, and make you want news: Judge rules on bird-wounding buildings, Mayor has plan to eliminate the land transfer tax, a councillor clears the snow with the City doesn't, and the people want to pay taxes.
Remember: this Saturday is the first Saturday of the rest of your weekend, so use it wisely. Take some news with you: where city councillors stand on a downtown casino, St. Mike's looks at homeless health needs, TDSB reevaluates its Black Panther lesson plan, the Ikea Monkey is still a thing, the Sun gets blocked in Pakistan, and superheroes.
Some Saturdays you pray for silence, some Saturdays your pray for soul. This Saturday, be satisfied with the news: Doug Ford takes over budget committee for now, a fatal shooting downtown, TTC transit police want to arrest you, videotaping cyclists, hockey's back, and the little student newspaper that could.
Out there, there's a skating rink awaiting your unsure feet. Show it who's sure. And take some news with you: a new tall tower proposal, drug squad cops get house arrest, glass on a toboggan hill, baby penguins at the zoo, talk about subways, and a gadget for the PATH.
Pour out the Corn Flakes and turn up the internet, it's news time on a Saturday: City and Waterfront Toronto staff shelved Gardiner report before Ford took office, Toronto police help avert U.S. school shooting, Justin Bieber tweets about Markham school's Christmas concert, former Scott Mission client gives back, and anti-fur protests planned on the Mink Mile.