On this Saturday, why not test the limits of one person's sugar-cookie-eating abilities? In the news: Rob Ford's youth football club gets suspended, a doctor searches for his dog, Drake gets Grammy nominations, and subways close.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Mathew DaleyDec. 7th, 10:05 am

It's as good a day for a Saturday as ever been seen, don't you think? Let's add some news: a look at the Ford family's "regular guys" image, concern for staff partially motivated mayor's office changes, business might be backing out of Toronto amid controversy at City Hall, G20 police tribunal names names, and subway closures.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Mathew DaleyNov. 23rd, 10:04 am

It's Saturday, so you just go ahead and keep making all the weird noises you want. And read some news: the crack video broker tells of bribes and threats, a judge contemplates showing the video in court, a cyclist was struck by police, and a memento of these recent days.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Mathew DaleyNov. 9th, 10:13 am

Thursday enough for ya? Try some news with this weekday: TTC needs more money from the City, Doug Ford doesn't attend Chief of Police Gala, Rob Ford is trying to see the video, Sandro Lisi gets a lot of phone calls, and James Forcillo faces a hearing.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Mathew DaleyNov. 7th, 8:14 am

It's Thanksgiving weekend and that can only mean one thing: playing video games alone for two days and ordering in. Right? Also, news: seizing Captain John's, boycotting the Pan Am Games, talking about Nuit Blanche, paying for horses, and not travelling by subway.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Matthew DaleyOct. 12th, 10:19 am

So it's October you say? Prove it. With news: Expanded smoking bans proposed, child and youth centre opens, some kids are smarter than others, a bomb threat at the hospital, and sports.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiOct. 1st, 8:00 am

With the start of the week comes the end of the month and the beginning of something special. Rom-coms should be set on this day. And news: Ford wants review of Pan Am Games expenses, deputy mayor wants Ford to do more stuff, officer in Sammy Yatim shooting has court date, cemeteries are dying, and there was an overnight assault at College and Spadina.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiSep. 30th, 8:25 am

The thing about Saturday is that when you hug the bed, it hugs you back...and tells you the news: emails from Ford's office, youth with no jobs, cats with no care, a home for the new streetcars, and a protest of David Gilmour.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiSep. 28th, 10:28 am

Set your lasers on Friday and get ready to dance. But first, the news: pandas bring in the big bucks, fire at a TCHC building, shooting arrests, and a rally for Greenpeace activists.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiSep. 27th, 8:02 am

Yawn it out, my friends. Yawn it out. And open your mouth to the news: Ontario government asking for more transit funding advice, cops find pot, ombudsman finds cop, Toronto-Centre nominees to be chosen, and Tracy McGrady makes Raptors fans cry.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiSep. 14th, 10:25 am

It is a day of days for Saturdays and weekends beyond. Behold in it, the news: feds ignore requests for transit funding, the power of bylaws in Bloor West Village, a pro-Palestine ad on the TTC, update on the nose-cut attack, and long weekend closures.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiAug. 31st, 10:20 am

Pack up and leave the week behind; it's weekend time. Kick it off with some news: police investigate Rob Ford's friends for links to crack video, cell service in TTC stalled, new priority neighbourhoods, Pape station closure, and snakes in a motel.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiAug. 17th, 10:32 am

Better put your fluffy pants on, because it's weekend time. In the news: the mayor slurs his words at Taste of the Danforth, Toronto Fire Services addresses sexism, an extended life for a nuclear plant, subway closures, and an awful person.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiAug. 10th, 10:41 am

No need to adjust your computer screen; yes, it is already the August long weekend, and yes, your life is passing you by. In the news: another piece of the crack tape puzzle, replacing Doug Holyday, more questions about Sammy Yatim's death, and the mystery around a young aboriginal woman's death.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiAug. 3rd, 10:11 am

You put one hand up and the other hand up and up and you praise the weekend, praise the weekend. Then read some news: no Wal-Mart in Kensington, for now; Tim Hortons unblocks totally unoffensive website; what the police know about Anthony Smith's murder; "Maple Leaf Forever" tree felled; and heat alert ends.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiJul. 20th, 10:21 am

Time to stop Saturday snoozin' and get some Saturday news-in: Ford announces potential deputy mayor replacement; massive subway closure planned; feminist conference draws criticism; and the downtown slaughterhouse might be moving.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiJul. 6th, 10:23 am

Saturday can go wherever it wants, reminding people "I am the weekend." But first, some news: backlash for Parkdale plan, a teenager to cheer for, TDSB plans to sell land, and reforms for taxis.

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Jeremy KaiJun. 22nd, 10:15 am