Meet the TIFF ensemble.
Relief Line is your not-so-serious glance at the city we love.
While the films change, there are certain types of people that reliably make up the film festival. Here’s your guide to those TIFF-goers who wear their lanyards like it’s a badge of courage to really earnest volunteers.
The Guy Trying to Figure out Where He’s Supposed to Line up
As he helplessly wanders around, checks his phone and repeatedly asks, “What’s this lineup for?” it’s hard not to pity him. For haven’t we all at one point been this guy at TIFF?
The Film Buff
Accompanied by a dog-eared TIFF guidebook, he or she attends every screening and says things like, “I think the most overlooked story at this year’s festival is the number of excellent non-narrative, documentary filmmakers emerging from Central Asia.”
The Volunteer Who Needs “To Keep This Area Clear”
They have very little information about where or when any movies are screening, but they know you cannot stand in this area. They need to keep this area clear. So please, move along.
Spending six hours in a specially designated fan-zone is worth it to capture that one, magical moment: a blurry photo of Leonardo DiCaprio’s security detail hurrying him into a limousine.
The Friend with Connections
While you are online trying to buy tickets inflated by “demand-based pricing,” this friend’s Instagram taunts you with an endless stream of ticket stubs, premiere galas, after parties, and the inside of Leo’s limousine.
The Self-Indulgent, Post-Film Questioner
“I have a three-part question about the movie for the entire panel. Well, it’s not ‘a question’ so much as it is ‘a statement.’ And it’s not about ‘the movie’ so much as it is about ‘a subject tangentially related to the movie, which personally interests me.’”
The Woman with the Headset Who Seems Know What’s Going On
A whirlwind of lanyards and manic energy, she runs around the Scotiabank Theatre shouting things like, “Cinema 3 is a go! Repeat, Cinema 3 is a go!” If you can get her attention she probably knows where you are supposed to line up.
For some people the film portion of the festival is just distraction from the real fun, doing cocaine in a lounge washroom beside someone who says she’s Harvey Weinstein’s niece.
The Somewhat Familiar Canadian Actor
You know who I am talking about. He’s the guy from the show. What was it called again? Due something-or-other? Due North? No, that’s not right. Wait, it’s Due South! That’s it! He was in Due South! Anyway, that guy.
The Celebrity Look-Alike
During TIFF, our senses our extra-attuned the possibility of celebrity sighting and sometimes we get carried away. The point is you shouldn’t feel bad if that disheveled, older man you took all those selfies with turns out not to be Nick Nolte.
The Pretentious Director
This true artist does not have a lot of time for so-called critics who have never created anything real in their entire life, but he does have lots of time to tell you about how his short film is going to completely revolutionize how we understand climate change, the internet, and race relations in America.
The Genuine Movie Star
Huh, Amy Adams is kind of short in real life.
The Friend Who Always Misses TIFF
“Oh my god, is TIFF already over? I didn’t even get to see anything! Okay, next year we’re definitely going to a movie together. Like, definitely.”