Televisualist: We The North Remembers

By Christopher Bird

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

Wait a minute, this person is not on GAME OF THRONES at all! Someone will be fired for this. We apologize deeply.

Monday

After what could only be called a disappointing Game One (although, in fairness, the first round of the playoffs did feature three teams losing by more than thirty points, so: life could be worse), tonight the Toronto Raptors take on the Indiana Pacers in Game Two of this first-round matchup. Hopefully Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan do not have abysmal nights and we win this one. Hopefully. (TSN, 7 p.m.)

12 Monkeys returns for a second season of being the least probable TV spinoff of a feature film that nonetheless succeeds. (Showcase, 9 p.m.)

The New York presidential primaries are tonight, and they are the current Most Important Night of the Election, at least until the next one. (CNN, 8 p.m.)

The BBC-produced adaptation of The Night Manager, starring Tom Hiddleston and Hugh Laurie, was wildly popular and critically acclaimed when it aired earlier this year, and now (assuming you didn’t already download it illegally, as pirates do) you can watch it in Canada! Hooray! (AMC, 10 p.m.)

Certainly Time-Traveling Bong has a great title going for it—and yes, the show isn’t just some sketch comedy show, it’s really a comic narrative involving a bong which can travel through time—but we are otherwise doubtful, even if Ilana Glazer is involved. (Much, 10:30 p.m.)

Although at first just another entrant in the “extreme survival reality show” genre, Alone has enough interesting quirks that we are at least slightly intrigued. It’s a competitive show, for one thing, with ten survival experts trying to be the one who survives the longest in the wild parts of Vancouver Island (and there are way more wild parts than most people think on Vancouver Island). There are no camera crews; each contestant has their own camera and must do all filming himself or herself. As one of the survival people notes in the promos: most survival shows have, at their heart, a thesis statement of “survive until you can reach safety,” and this show is essentially about doing the opposite. That’s vaguely neat. (History Television, 9 p.m.)

Inside Amy Schumer returns for a fourth season because they can still afford to pay Amy Schumer to make it. This may not last. (Comedy Network, 10 p.m.)

The Detour debuted a couple of weeks ago to a good reception: Jason Jones’ attempt to essentially remake Vacation as an ongoing R-rated comedy series was a bold gamble which seems to have paid off. (Comedy Network, 10:30 p.m.)

There is a strong argument to be made that Collateral is both Tom Cruise’s and Michael Mann’s best film, which says a great deal given both of their ouevres. (You might snort at Tom Cruise, but go back and look at his filmography sometime and you realize that Cruise has made a ludicrously large number of very, very good movies.) It’s almost perfect as thrillers go; it starts tense and just keeps getting more tense throughout the film, a steady build which does not reduce at any point in the film until the very, very end. Cruise is genuinely terrifying as the villain and Jamie Foxx turned in the best work of his life as the hero. It’s astounding and if you haven’t seen it, you should. (Peachtree, 8 p.m.)

Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown returns for a seventh season of Bourdain being the best travelogue host on TV and very little else about the show matters. If you like travelogue shows, this one is great because Bourdain, for all of his peccadilloes, is remarkably good at this and has been so for a very long time. (CNN, 9 p.m. Sunday)

So Game of Thrones is back, and you might know that if you read any news whatsoever. Anyway: Jon Snow will almost certainly be brought back from the dead in some manner. That’s not a spoiler (we haven’t seen any episodes from the new season yet, because only Barack Obama has the screeners), but rather an educated guess that is absolutely guaranteed to be correct. Please refer back to this post at the end of the season to be reminded that we are extremely smart. (HBO Canada, 9 p.m.)