Newsstand: April 13, 2016
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Newsstand: April 13, 2016

In the news: Toronto postal worker is a douche, 4D cinemas to hit theatres this summer, TTC yoga, and the UPX goes down.

If it’s been 12 years and you still haven’t received a reply from Santa, your letters are probably in the back of some guy’s closet. David Asquino made the chilling discovery—a box full of nearly 100 sealed envelopes—after cleaning out a box of his Canada-Post-worker-ex-GF’s stuff. Asquino said, “When a kid opens a letter from Santa, it is one of the greatest things, so to deprive them of that is kind of disgusting.” What’s more baffling is why he hasn’t cleaned out his closet in more than a decade but whatevs.

Cineplex will be opening its first 4D cinemas this summer at Yonge-Dundas Square. Equipped with motion-activated seats and environmental effects such as wind and snow, Disney movie buffs will now be able to experience Frozen 2 in all of its winter glory. (Don’t worry; the cold never bothered us anyway.)

Brandon Tralman-Baker, Mark Slater, and JP Spanbauer have captured Toronto’s transit experience with illustrations depicting the pain that is travelling via TTC. Tralman-Baker explains, “Whether you’re on a streetcar, the subway or a bus we’ve all experienced gross, awkward, and strange situations thanks to overcrowding and other riders.” Check out their TTC Yoga guide here.

A major signal failure was the cause of an hours-long service disruption on the UP Express line, proving once and for all—despite a newly reduced fare—that Uber is still the best way to get you to Pearson.