Televisualist: Go Away, Ninjas
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Televisualist: Go Away, Ninjas

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

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When somebody figures out how many Photoshop filters it takes to make you confuse these two for Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker, let us know.


Tuesday

It’s the season finales of The Rick Mercer Report and 22 Minutes, so you know what that means: no news ’till September! (CBC, 8 p.m.)

There is a GOP Presidential Town Hall tonight, which is like a debate except that instead of an ineffctive debate moderator, there is a rabid crowd who will cheer on the craziest things that Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and John “Secretly Just As Bad As The Others” Kasich will say. Apparently this is meant to be somehow superior.(CNN, 8 p.m.)


Wednesday

Seven Year Switch heavily promotes the idea of “switch therapy,” which is something the producers invented because they didn’t want to say “we’re just doing Wife Swap all over again.” Which is all this show is, really. (Slice, 10 p.m.)


Thursday

Showcase picked up The Path since it’s only on Hulu, and American online-exclusive series are the new path to relevancy for Canadian networks that don’t want to spend money on producing anything themselves. The series’ first episode is a grabber, despite being about a cult, which is traditionally Hollywood story-poison, but the rock solid cast (Aaron Paul, Michelle Monoghan, Hugh Dancy) sees it through. (9 p.m.)

Rush Hour: it’s a TV show! Like the movie franchise you loved a decade ago? Or sort of loved? Maybe vaguely remembered? Anyway, instead of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker, this show has Not Jackie Chan and Not Chris Tucker, who are the perfect people to helm yet another CBS procedural cop-action show (but with PG-rated attitude!). (CBS, 10 p.m.)


Friday

Bruno and Boots: Go Jump In The Pool is the first of a planned series of adaptations of Gordon Korman’s well-loved Canadian kidslit novels. From what we have seen we can say that the casting of Bruno and Boots is spot-on, and Caroline Rhea performing Miss Scrimage is a major bonus. We’re hopeful it’s a success and most of the books get adapted accordingly. (YTV, 7 p.m.)


The Weekend

March Madness is nearly over: Saturday night, the Final Four play their semi-final games, with competing two-seeds Villanova and Oklahoma playing in one game, and #1 North Carolina taking on #10 Syracuse in the traditional “powerhouse versus underdog” game. (TSN, starting 6 p.m. Saturday)

The 2016 Juno Awards are this weekend, and will feature performances by Bryan Adams, Shawn Mendes and the Weeknd. Also Burton Cummings will be inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame, and if you don’t know who Burton Cummings is, that is forgivable because he has not been particularly, shall we say, prominent since the mid-Eighties heralded the end of large-scae Guess Who fandom. (CTV, 7 p.m. Sunday)


Online

Is it just us or is Daredevil always better when there aren’t any ninjas? We get it, Frank Miller re-invented Daredevil in the 1980s with his groundbreaking run of comics, but just because he used ninjas doesn’t mean everybody else has to use ninjas. Some things can be left behind and recognized as creative elements that were of their time and don’t work as well today, and ninjas are generally at the very top of this list. What we mean is: the first season bogged down when there were ninjas, and got better when the ninjas went away, and the second season starts off smoothly but then goddamn ninjas show up. Go away, ninjas. (Netflix)

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