Relief Line: What Can You Afford in Toronto's Housing Market?
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Relief Line: What Can You Afford in Toronto’s Housing Market?

We hope you like renting!

Relief Line is your not-so-serious glance at the city we love.

Sky-rocketing real estate prices can make finding a home in Toronto seem impossible. Luckily Torontoist is here to help! Whether you’re a debt-ridden millennial, a wealthy baby-boomer or a Gen-Xer who defies easy financial stereotype our chart below will guarantee you the dream home within your budget. (Note: By reading this sentence you are now bound to a six month, exclusive Buyer Representation Agreement with Torontoist). Enjoy!

A Budget Under $100,000: Sorry, but in Toronto housing market terms you don’t exist.

$100,000: This is all you need to live in a fully detached, Victorian home in the Annex for the next 4 years, provided you make it through the gruelling hazing rituals of the Beta Sigma Phi fraternity.

$200,000: Your parent’s old house. But they’re staying. And so is their stuff. Basically you can have your old room back.

$300,000: Something that is currently on fire.

$400,000: This may not seem like a lot of money but with your bank offering you a fixed-rate mortgage of 4.1 per cent for a term of five years and a CMHC insured mortgage amortization period of 25 years, you should be able to procure a rickety lean-to hidden in High Park.

$500,000: Five bedrooms, two bathrooms and a newly renovated kitchen; assuming you can fit all that within a 500 square foot, unfinished basement apartment in Little Italy.

$600,000: A nice starter townhouse in the East End (lightly haunted, exorcist at buyer’s expense).

$700,000: Almost enough to start gentrifying a working class neighbourhood!

$800,000: Two beautiful homes in downtown Hamilton or two fruitless years spent searching for a place in downtown Toronto.

$900,000: This price range gives you and your family the flexibility and security to make a number of losing bids on properties that will go for well over a million dollars.

$1 million: Congratulations! You can now afford an average-sized home in Riverdale, allowing you to claw yourself out of the dehumanizing, hellish nightmare that is the Toronto housing market.

$2.5 million: This will not only cover the cost of your new home in Forest Hill but there should be enough money left over to launch a nasty, years-long legal battle against your neighbours when they build a new fence you don’t like.

$5 million: A semi-detached golf course.

$10 Million: Some god-forsaken shack on the Bridle Path that only has one Jai-alai court, a dilapidated helipad and barely enough room for your menagerie of albino tigers.

Over $10 Million: A time machine that will allow you to travel to an era with more reasonable housing prices.

Happy house hunting!

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