Televisualist: WERE-ontorist
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Televisualist: WERE-ontorist

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

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Not many cartoons that care to contemplate the infinite majesty of the void, come to think of it.


Monday

Fear: Buried Alive is a two-hour television special where three people “overcome their darkest fears” by being buried alive, as we quickly progress down the road to that TV show in Idiocracy where people get kicked in the balls. (A&E, 8 p.m.)

Supergirl was widely considered to have the strongest pilot of the fall season, and correctly—the first episode is fantastic TV and Melissa Benoist is particularly great as the title character. That having been said, our pet peeve is that the show has a sort of quixotic relationship with the existence of Superman—they acknowledge his existence (and Supergirl makes clear that she idolizes him) but avoid saying his name. Which is kind of weird, to be honest. (Global, 8:30 p.m.)


Tuesday

Game one of the World Series starts and LET’S GO METS. We jest, but really, we are big fans of the Blue Jays and Royals becoming blood enemies, because the Midwestern baseball teams have the most dreadfully smug fanbases in baseball outside of the Yankees and everybody already hates the Yankees. So GO METS GO. (Sportsnet, 8 p.m.)

Mohawk Girls, APTN’s enjoyable (if slightly uneven) sitcom succeeds more often than not, and returns for a second season. (9 p.m.)

Wicked City is a period crime drama, but the period is 1980s Los Angeles! Yes, the ’80s are a setting for period pieces now! Time marches on, a cruel master of us all! (ABC, 10 p.m.)


Wednesday

The Toronto Raptors host the Indiana Pacers in their season opener, and now that the Jays have broken Toronto’s collective heart, why not allow another team to do that as well? They have actual Canadian players on the team now! (TSN, 7:30 p.m.)

Hockey Wives, the Canadian-flavoured variant on the neverending “wives of famous people” genre, is back for a second season. In this episode, some of the hockey wives go to Okanagan! Really, they do! (W, 10 p.m.)


Thursday

Time for the annual airing of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, whose appeal regarding the futility of worship is cited by atheistic neckbeards the world over as proof that churches are evil. (ABC, 8 p.m.)


Friday

Grimm, the show about monster hunters that isn’t Buffy or Supernatural but rather the other one, returns for its fifth season somehow. (CTV, 9 p.m.)


The Weekend

On Halloween, AMC naturally has a Halloween movie marathon: the first five movies, but not the 20-years-later one. Basically, there’s the first movie (great), the second one (okay), and then the remaining three give you about half a movie’s worth of entertainment between them (begins at 4:30 p.m.)

A better option on Halloween is probably The Mist, the adaptation of the Stephen King horror novella, which is extremely effective (although some do take issue with the ending, which dramatically differs from the original story). (M3, 12:15 a.m.)


Online

Since it is the scary season, a quick guide to decent horror flicks you might not have seen, available on Netflix Canada: Oculus, a fine film about a haunted mirror starring Karen Gillan; It Follows, a flawed film, which nonetheless does some clever things putting the sexual subtext so often present in horror films right up front; Stake Land, a minimalist horror movie about a world dominated by vampires; Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil, a horror-comedy that dares to ask, “What if horror films are really just crap and it’s all an incredible run of bad luck?”; and 1408, another Stephen King adaptation about a haunted hotel room which, while not as creepy as the original short story, is nonetheless gripping and scary.

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