Televisualist: The Late Mrs. Robot Does Not Appear

By Christopher Bird

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

Remember that old SNL sketch where Christian Slater pretended his entire career arc was doing an extended Jack Nicholson impersonation? Not so funny now, is it?

Monday

The newest entry in the Million Dollar Listing franchise is Million Dollar Listing: San Francisco, which, because it is San Francisco, probably means a lot of one-bedroom condos and burnt-down shacks on valuable land. (Slice, 9 p.m.)

New season of Beat Bobby Flay; still no “with a club” option. (Food Network, 9 p.m.)

Chef In Your Ear is a new competitive cooking show on Food Network (I know, you’re amazed that such a program could exist); this one’s gimmick is that professional chefs are giving “kitchen rookies” instructions over an earpiece but can’t enter the kitchen to show their rookies how to, say, boil water. Could be amusing in a trainwreck sort of way. (10 p.m.)

Todrick is MTV’s new docu-reality series about Todrick Hall, the former American Idol contestant who is now YouTube-famous. If you’re saying “But I don’t know who that is, why does he get a teevee show?” first let us explain that his YouTube videos have over 200 million views (for example, this Disney-themed revamp of “Cell Block Tango” has over 6.5 million views), and that a lot of people viewing YouTube videos can make one a lot of money, and…look, it’s the new economy, okay? You’re old. (MTV Canada, 10 p.m.)

House Hunters International is more or less House Hunters’ less embarrassing younger sibling (the Lisa to House Hunters’ Bart). On International, the prospective moving people have to (usually) come to terms with the fact that they won’t get everything they want because House Hunters is mostly a show about spoiled children masquerading as adults. Anyway, House Hunters International: Where Are They Now? is a chance to catch up with all those people who claimed they love living in Some European City or A Place In Central America or what-have-you after the obligatory three-month flash-forward on their original episode, and see if they really do love not having, say, an oven. (HGTV, 9 p.m.)

My Fab 40th is basically My Super Sweet Sixteen for people who never actually grew up and live a life of horrific, tasteless excess. Three guesses what channel it’s on! (Slice, 10 p.m.)

Carnival Cravings With Anthony Anderson is a television show all about fair food, because whenever you run a listicle about this year’s attempts to make “deep fry everything in sight, plus bacon” seem novel again, people click that shit like their lives are on the line. (We are not immune.) Anthony Anderson is here in his side gig as Food Network shill to scream about how delicious deep-fried chocolate malted granite topped with shaved pork burnings can be. (Food Network, 10 p.m.)

Continuum returns for a fourth micro-sized season (six episodes), which appears to be the “let’s wrap everything up as quick as possible before we run out of money” season. Still, it’s nice to see that they’re getting the chance to end things more or less on their own terms, which for a Canadian series about time travel and alternate realities puts it on par with Being Erica. (Showcase, 9 p.m.)

Showcase has also picked up Mr. Robot, which aired in the States earlier this summer and was easily the most ambitious and flat-out crazy-ass series to air all summer and possibly all year. The hacker drama features excellent performances across the board (including Christian Slater as the titular Mr. Robot, acting like his character in Heathers never died), honest-to-god realistic portrayals of modern computer hacking and mental illness (which is like a one-two punch of Things Hollywood Is Bad At Describing) and is gorgeously shot to boot. It’s an amazing TV experience. Watch it. (10 p.m.)

Lost Girl‘s final eight episodes commence tonight, and although this show has never really been one of our must-watches it’s always been a quality production and a reminder that lengthy Canadian productions can still be successful, even if that maybe means they have to be about succubi who are driven to have death-sex on a regular basis. (Showcase, 9 p.m. Sunday)

Since we mentioned Mr. Robot, it is only fair to mention that Hackers, which the show literally mocks in dialogue, is available to stream online. You too can watch one of Angelina Jolie’s very first appearances, and young Jonny Lee Miller’s lousy American accent, and Matthew Lillard perfect the character he would spend two decades playing in every other movie, and Lorraine Bracco playing the platonic ideal of the “doesn’t know shit” character as Fisher Stevens explains very basic computing concepts to her and she acts as if it is voodoo magic, and CGI “hacking sequences” that defy belief. It is amazing. (Netflix)