Televisualist: The Bradbury-Ventimiglia Dilemma
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Televisualist: The Bradbury-Ventimiglia Dilemma

In addition to the robes, you know it's not American Law And Order because they pronounce "McDonald's" with a "Mac "

In addition to the robes, you know it’s not American Law And Order because they pronounce “McDonald’s” with a “Mac.”


Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

Monday

So You Think You Can Dance returns for its 12th season and, as always, the audition episodes will likely be massively entertaining and filled with excellent dancers (and the token attention-seeking losers, but they minimized the impact of those dudes—it’s mostly dudes—long ago). (CTV, 8 p.m.)

For some reason M3 has picked up Crash, the un-good TV adaptation of the worst film to win Best Picture at the Academy Awards. It was cancelled in 2009 so, yeah, this is kinda old. Unless it’s new to you! (9 p.m.)

The Whispers is based on a Ray Bradbury story where little kids are influenced by ghosts or demons or something, and they’re invading the Earth. It has Milo Ventimiglia in it. Does Ray Bradbury outweigh Milo Ventimiglia? We are unsure. (ABC, 10 p.m.)

UnReal is a drama set in the reality TV series, so the circle-jerking about how reality TV is bad will be extremely high. And that comes from someone who dislikes an enormous amount of reality TV. (Slice—of course it’s Slice—10 p.m.)


Tuesday

Pretty Little Liars returns for a sixth season, which is pretty amazing when you think about it. It’s not a bad show by any means, but it’s ephemeral—it was conceived of as “Desperate Housewives for teenagers” and when it couldn’t initially be turned into a TV show the creator turned it into a series of books which were then adapted into the TV show that was planned all along—and, well, it’s going to go for a full seven seasons. That’s entering Consequential TV territory, where we remember both the shows that are Important and the shows which aren’t important but which become Important by dint of survival. Which is to say: get ready for Pretty Little Liars thinkpieces next year. (M3, 8 p.m.)


Wednesday

The Stanley Cup Finals commence, and let’s be honest: only Blackhawks fans and arch-conservative hockey people are rooting for the Blackhawks. Everybody else is rooting for the Tampa Bay Lightning to win this, because they’ve won less than the Blackhawks over the past few years, and we like to see different winners. (CBC, 8 p.m.)


Thursday

Speaking of finals, the NBA Finals start tonight, with LeBron James entering his fifth straight Finals (after four in a row with the Miami Heat) as the leader of the Cleveland Cavaliers. The Cavs are a talented team, but pretty much everybody who follows basketball considers them underdogs this year, as the Golden State Warriors have been dominant both in the regular season and the playoffs. They’re led by Steph Curry, son of former Toronto Raptor Dell Curry, who is quite possibly the best-shooting basketball player of all time. But LeBron is still the best overall basketball player on the planet. But Golden State has a better, deeper team. But Cleveland has more individual talent. In short: it should be a good Finals. (TSN; Jimmy Kimmel pre-show at 8, broadcast of actual game starts at 8:30).

Hannibal has been airing teaser vignettes heavily featuring Gillian Anderson as Hannibal’s “wife” and we are all about that. (City, 10 p.m.)


Friday

City has brought back Law and Order: UK, which is the closest we can get now to classic Law and Order, but unfortunately the eighth season (which commences tonight, even though it aired last year in Britain) is the last for a while, as the show “refreshes,” which is a nice way of saying “everybody is a bit bored with making it.” Which is probably a Law and Order sort of thing, come to think. (9 p.m.)


The Weekend

BAD NEWS: Neil Patrick Harris isn’t hosting the 69th annual Tony Awards. GOOD NEWS: Kristin Chenoweth and Alan Cumming are doing it instead. (CHCH, 8 p.m. Sunday)


Online

Netflix is adding a bunch of high-profile Oscar movies in June, including Whiplash, Gone Girl, and Foxcatcher. They’re also adding in The Adjustment Bureau, the underrated minor hit from 2011 about fate, free will and people wearing threatening grey fedoras. Matt Damon and Emily Blunt are in it. It’s the sort of solid double of a movie that earns respect but doesn’t linger in most people’s memories, which is a shame because it’s a good fun flick with solid writing and a strong cast. (Netflix, as of June 1)

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