culture
Televisualist: Too Sane to Solve Crimes
Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.
“For the last time, stop asking about this Jim person.”
Monday
You might want to catch the annual Tournament of Hearts, if you like curling. Some people do. We don’t judge them for that. (Rogers 10, 7 p.m.)
Helix started out last season being a show about zombies (but they never say zombies), and then somewhere along the line turned into a show about vampires (but they never say vampires), and… look, it’s complicated, and there’s a lot of investment required here, but the first season was good, so maybe you want to take the time. (Showcase, 10 p.m.)
Tuesday
Global has the TV premiere of The Avengers, in case you’re one of the seven people on the planet who hasn’t seen it already. (8 p.m.)
The 2015 State of the Union is happening tonight, and at first, the Republicans were threatening not even to let Barack Obama do the State of the Union speech, and now it just looks as if they’re going to boo him a lot or something. Thrilling. (American networks, 9 p.m.)
The creators of Degrassi have now brought us Open Heart, a mystery show about a teenaged girl volunteering at a hospital in an attempt to find out where and how her father disappeared. Solid premise, good talent behind the scenes—could be decent family viewing. (YTV, 9 p.m.)
Back for a fourth season: Mr. D. We’re not quite sure why. (CBC, 9:30 p.m.)
Wednesday
Bruce McCulloch of the Kids in the Hall has created Young Drunk Punk, a sort of 1980s Albertan take on SLC Punk and its punk teenagers coming-of-age story, except instead of Mormons, there’s oil. McCulloch plays the lead character’s dad, because he’s now old, but he commits to it with a serious Tom Selleck moustache, so that’s okay. (City, 8:30 p.m.)
Thursday
Backstrom features Rainn Wilson as a misanthropic self-destructive detective, because normal healthy people can’t solve crimes! (City, 9 p.m.)
Friday
Love, Lust or Run is a fashion advice showing starring Stacy London, formerly of What Not to Wear, because someone accidentally erased one of the seven sigils that bound her in the ninth ring of hell, and someone freed her to wreak havoc on this earth once more. I’m looking at you, Gavin. You could at least be honest about it. (TLC, 9 p.m.)
The Weekend
The Screen Actors Guild Awards serve as a useful preview for the Oscar acting categories, which is why people put them on television and the only reason anybody watches them. At least they’re relatively quick, though. The lack of technical categories tends to help with running time. (Global, 8 p.m. Sunday)
Apparently, people handicap the Miss Universe Pageant for gambling purposes now. I have been informed that the Argentinians in particular are considered to have a strategic advantage over other nations. Their secret? Beef. Lots and lots of beef. (NBC, 8 p.m. Sunday)