culture
Televisualist: Let’s Go (Athletes Who Play for) Canada!
Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.
BAD. ASS.
Monday
The World Junior Hockey Championships gold medal game is tonight, and Canada is in it! (Yayyyyy!) We play Russia. (Boooooo!) And, admit it, it’s fun to watch hockey games being played in Toronto, where the crowd actually acts as if they care about the result. (TSN, 8 p.m.)
Or, if you hate sports, and also joy, and also good TV, The Bachelor returns. Give in to your hate. (OMNI, 8 p.m.)
CBC’s counterprogramming against the World Juniors is smarter, as it’s airing Best in Show, which is exactly the sort of movie that people who would never, ever watch the World Juniors would watch. This does not mean people are bad for liking Best in Show or for not watching hockey. You are bad if you watch The Bachelor instead of either of those options. (8 p.m.)
Tuesday
Marvel’s Agent Carter is a spinoff from the Marvel Cinematic Universe featuring Hayley Atwell as the daringly fantastic Agent Peggy Carter, one of the creators of S.H.I.E.L.D. and kick-ass 1940s-era secret agent. Also featuring James D’Arcy as Edwin Jarvis, a heroic butler, because you can never have enough heroic butlers. (CTV, 8 p.m.)
MasterChef Junior Edition returns for another season of Gordon Ramsay trying not to swear, and we promise we will stop repeating that joke when the idea of Gordon Ramsay trying not to swear stops being funny, which will be never. (CTV2, 8 p.m.)
Just For Laughs Gags celebrates its 15th anniversary, but unfortunately not with an “all slide-whistle sound effects” episode. (CBC, 9 p.m.)
Wednesday
American Idol is back, if any of you care (and judging by the ratings, most of you don’t any more). Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, and Harry Connick Jr. return as the judges and, of those, only Connick Jr. is interesting, because he is a grump. (CITS, 8 p.m.)
The CBC’s prestige project this winter is The Book of Negroes—adapted from the super-prestigious book of the same name—which features Aunjanue Ellis in the lead role of Aminata, as well as Cuba Gooding Jr., Louis Gossett Jr., and Ben Chaplin in supporting roles. Everybody is (rightfully) going to be talking about this one, so you might as well get on board now. (9 p.m.)
The 2015 People’s Choice Awards will remind us all once again that we collectively have lousy taste. (Global, 9 p.m.)
Thursday
Sunnyside is a new sketch comedy series featuring numerous Canadian comics, including Kathleen Phillips and Pat Thornton, among others. It’s set in a fictional Parkdale-ish neighborhood called Sunnyside, but was filmed in Winnipeg. Hollywood North has become too expensive for Canadians to film in! Such irony! (City, 8 p.m.)
Friday
Glee begins its sixth and final season, with Rachel returning to high school for some reason that justifies her continuing to be on the show. Probably Sue Sylvester did something evil. (City, 8 p.m.)
The Weekend
The 72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards are mostly pointless, except in that they maybe serve as an indicator of what might happen at the Oscars (“the film awards people actually sort of care about”) and give us the chance to watch drunken movie stars give acceptance speeches. But those aren’t bad reasons! Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will host for the third year in a row, which is fine, because they are good at it. (CTV, 8 p.m.)