Televisualist: Featuring the Ruggedly Predictable Jim Parsons

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Televisualist: Featuring the Ruggedly Predictable Jim Parsons

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

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This either suits you right down to the bone, or it is your personal vision of hell. There is no middle ground.

Monday

MasterChef Canada: A Holiday Special is a special one-shot MasterChef wherein former contestants return to the MasterChef Canada Kitchen (man, that is an unwieldy name) to prepare holiday-themed dishes and compete in the way that one competes on cooking shows. (CTV, 8 p.m.)


Tuesday

If last night’s Christmas MasterChef wasn’t enough, tonight you can watch the finale of MasterChef Juniors. Will Gordon Ramsay explode after an entire season of not being allowed to swear? Maybe! (CTV2, 8 p.m.)

You can also catch A Charlie Brown Christmas tonight, as one should do at least once every holiday season. (ABC, 8 p.m.)

Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas seems to be an adaptation of the Will Ferrell movie Elf as an animated musical Christmas special, sort of? Featuring the voice of Jim Parsons as Buddy, which should be fun. (City, 8 p.m.)

The Voice concludes in the usual way, which is to say: Blake Shelton has one country singer in the finals because a bunch of America will only vote for country singers, and Adam Levine has two pop singers splitting the vote so the country guy is probably the favourite. The Voice has become as depressing and ruggedly predictable as actual real elections with consequences, which just goes to show that democracy doesn’t work, people! (CTV2, 9 p.m.)


Wednesday

Corner Gas: The Movie premiered last week in theatres so Brent Butt could say it was in theatres at one point, possibly because it was promised in the Kickstarter campaign? (We’re not going to pretend we researched that.) Anyway, now it airs on your television! (CTV, 8 p.m.)

Michael Bublé’s Christmas in New York features Bublé, Barbra Streisand, Ariana Grande, and Miss Piggy. One of these things is not like the other! (The answer is Ariana Grande, who—unlike the other three—appeals to young millennials.) (NBC, 8 p.m.)

This year’s edition of The Sing-Off is a one-night-only special, as the show continues to explore new and diverse formats! Next year’s season will be expressed entirely via haiku published on Twitter. (NBC, 9 p.m.)


Thursday

It’s the People Magazine Awards! We have no idea what these are but we’re hoping there’s an entire range of “Most Inspirational” awards, and maybe some awards like “Most Amazing Comeback” or “Most Unbelievable Narrative.” (Global, 9 p.m.)

White Collar concludes its series run. It was a fine show, with the final season becoming an extended long-con being run by the good guys on some criminal baddies as the show ties up all its loose plot lines. (Bravo, 10 p.m.)


Friday

Canada’s Walk of Fame 2014 celebrates Ryan Reynolds, Rachel McAdams, Jeff Healey, and the Band. Yeah, we had the same reaction: why does the Band deserve to share a stage with Ryan frickin’ Reynolds? (Global, 8 p.m.)


The Weekend

Disney’s A Christmas Carol isn’t the one you fondly remember with Mickey Mouse as Bob Cratchit, but rather the more recent motion-capture CGI film directed by Robert Zemeckis with Jim Carrey voicing Scrooge (as well as all three of the ghosts). It’s not a bad adaptation—it’s remarkably faithful to the book—but the mo-cap still has a sort of uncanny valley feel to it. Still, it’s miles better than your average Hallmark Hall of Fame Christmas movie, so there’s that. (Global, 9 p.m. Sunday)

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