Televisualist: The World Cup Makes Writing This Column So Much Easier
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Televisualist: The World Cup Makes Writing This Column So Much Easier

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

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The Future Is Brown ™.


Today in the World Cup: We get our first look at this cup’s Group of Death—Group G—as “nation voted most likely always to be third most likely to win the World Cup” Germany plays Portugal (CBC, 11:45 a.m.), and the United States gets its chance at redemption after being eliminated during the previous cup when it goes up against Ghana (CBC, 5:45 p.m.). Also, Iran takes on Nigeria in what will likely be a massive mismatch. (CBC, 2:45 p.m.)

Tonight’s The West Wing rerun is “The Supremes,” also remembered as one of the few truly good episodes in the show’s generally weak fifth season—it’s the one where Glenn Close, William Fichtner, and Robert Picardo all show up as potential Supreme Court judges. (CITS, 8 p.m.)

Siberian Cut is Discovery’s new show about American loggers working abroad in Siberia, where there are snow and wolves and vodka and Russians and Americans who don’t get along with Russians, and it is all very snowy-white, and you will be thankful for summer currently existing. (10 p.m.)


Today in the World Cup: Belgium, which is quietly in possession one of the better odds to take the cup, goes up against Algeria, which is not in possession of that thing (CBC, 11:45 a.m.). Russia and South Korea duel for a likely second place behind Belgium in group F (CBC, 5:45 p.m.). And we get our first “second match” for teams in this year’s cup, as currently undefeated Brazil takes on currently undefeated Mexico in what promises to be a barnburner of a match that Brazil will probably still win (CBC, 2:45 p.m.).

Tonight, CNN airs a Hillary Clinton town hall meeting so you can get a sneak preview of her 2016 Presidential campaign, although she’s apparently still not sure she’ll be having one—which is why she is having a town hall meeting on national television. (9 p.m.)


Today in the World Cup: Australia goes up against the Netherlands and probably gets slaughtered (CBC, 11:45 a.m.). Spain, seeking to avenge its 5-1 loss against the Netherlands, takes on currently undefeated Chile (CBC, 2:45 p.m.). And Cameroon and Croatia both seek their first victory in the tournament. (CBC, 5:45 p.m.)


Today in the World Cup: Group C becomes more sharply defined, with both Ivory Coast and Colombia looking to get a second win and increase the likelihood they’ll make it to the elimination rounds (CBC, 11:45 a.m.). Uruguay and England are both hunting for a win in order to get back into the hunt in Group D (CBC, 2:45 p.m.), and Japan and Greece face the same situation in Group C. (CBC, 5:45 p.m.)

Defiance, the TV show based on and tying into the sci-fi video game, returns for a second season of being just sort of there and of people wondering if the eventual Halo show is going to be better or what. (Showcase, 10 p.m.)


Today in the World Cup: Italy, which is The Worst Team in All of International Soccer, takes on Costa Rica, which is fresh off an upset win over Uruguay (which is the Second-Worst Team in All of International Soccer) and looking to repeat that trick. Elsewhere, (CBC, 11:45 a.m.) Switzerland takes on France (CBC, 2:45 p.m.), and Honduras and Ecuador look to build some momentum and maybe play their way into an underdog berth in the elimination rounds. (CBC, 5:45 p.m.)

The Weekend

This weekend in the World Cup: On Saturday, Argentina clobbers Iran—yes, we already know it’s going to happen (CBC, 11:45 a.m.), Germany and Ghana butt heads (CBC, 2:45 p.m.), and Nigeria goes up against Bosnia-Herzegovina (CBC, 5:45 p.m.). On Sunday, Belgium plays Russia (CBC, 11:45 a.m.), South Korea takes on Algeria (CBC, 2:45 p.m.), and the United States plays Portugal (5:45 p.m.).

Rising Star is ABC’s new singing competition show, but this time the twist is that voters at home vote in real time on a live broadcast using a special phone app, and the app takes your picture, and MAAAYYYYYBEEEEEE you will be lucky and your picture will appear on the teevee! Despite the show’s claim that “there are no judges because you are the judges,” Ludacris, Josh Groban, Ke$ha, and Brad Paisley will be hanging around. Perhaps they will be “advisors.” (CTV, 9 p.m. Sunday)