Televisualist: We're Folksy
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Televisualist: We’re Folksy

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

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[FAT JOKE] + [RELATIVELY RECENT POP CULTURE REFERENCE] = [MONEY]

Monday

The Voice is now at the point where you, the people, can vote! Hooray for democracy! It works 7 per cent of the time! (CTV, 8 p.m.)

Mike and Molly is back for its fourth season, and Televisualist has heard two distinctly different theories about this show’s future. The first is that Melissa McCarthy will leave the show when her contract is up, because she can do movies and make more money that way. The second is that she will stay with the show because she makes good money now, will make better syndication money later, can still make movies while she’s doing the show, and has already won one Emmy—so she’s already one-quarter of the way to an EGOT. All of this is really a wonderful problem for her to have, so we can forgive the fact that Mike and Molly is 90 per cent old fat jokes recycled for the umpteenth time. (City, 9 p.m.)

Dukes of Haggle—wherein folksy traders and barterers (they’re always folksy) wheel and deal in junk and refurbishable items to make their money—is one of Discovery’s new breed of sorta-guilty-pleasure shows. These shows are entertaining and inoffensive—very much the Coke Zero of Discovery programming. (10 p.m.)


Tuesday

Come on, people, can’t some of you start watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine? It’s ever so good—already hitting that nice Parks and Recreation comedy groove much earlier than Parks did—and if you don’t watch it, that will just prove to the TV people that we can’t have nice things. (City, 8:30 p.m.)

Naked Vegas is a reality show about professional body-painters who operate in Las Vegas, because there aren’t many cities where you can actually have something like “professional body-painters,” but Las Vegas is definitely one of them. (Space, 10 p.m.)


Wednesday

Status of Survivor as of the merge, which happens this week: Colton is a whiny loser; Tyson is more entertainingly evil than ever; the “returning stars plus their loved ones” theme makes Redemption Island—which is one of the worst ideas the show has had—actually watchable, because the concept that a loved-one alliance could resurrect itself has sunk in for the contestants; and everybody is actively avoiding the immunity idols on the theory that they put targets on your back. Meanwhile, Gervase still has no idea what he is doing, which just goes to show you that some Survivor things never change. (Global, 8 p.m.)

It’s the 47th Annual CMA Awards, because this is one of the 41 weeks out of every year in which country music gives out awards. No wonder all those country-music people seem so cheerful all the time! (City, 8 p.m.)

Over the summer, the people who make Arrow decided that they needed to incorporate more elements of DC Comics mythology into the show, because bad actors brooding and lots of violence weren’t doing it for people. So this week’s show brings the League of Assassins into the show in a major way, because nothing says Green Arrow like…Batman villains? Right, then. (CTV, 8 p.m.)


Thursday

The Simpsons rerun of the week: “Moonshine River,” a surprisingly strong 24th-season outing, in which the Simpsons return to New York City. “New York has sure changed since our ancestor Fievel came here.” “Fievel was a mouse in a movie.” “Yes, now look at us. Only in America.” (Fox, 11 p.m.)


Friday

Masterchef Junior Edition comes to a close with Gordon Ramsay ritually sacrificing the “winning” child in order to drain his or her youth and vitality. His dark reign begins. (CTV, 8 p.m.)


The Weekend

Lost Girl, the Canadian dark-fantasy-adventure series that nobody thought would succeed until it did, returns for a fourth season of succubussing it up. That’s right, we just verbed “succubus.” That’s how strongly we feel about this show. (Showcase, 10 p.m. Sunday)

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