Weekend Newsstand: March 2, 2013



Weekend Newsstand: March 2, 2013

Much like an energy-saving lightbulb, your Saturday is slowly getting started. Amp it up with some news: arrest in the subway stabbing, teacher sent home for making bad jokes, pandas on a plane, crackdown on something called Izms, police murder charge thrown out, and no subway service for some.

newsstand humbetown

Isn’t the bus such a lovely change of pace? The street life and the faces one normally whizzes by when travelling underground are showcased once again and suddenly all the city comes to life. Right, guys? Right? Keep telling yourself that, as there is no subway service between St. George and Union stations this weekend. The TTC is deploying a fleet of shuttle buses while they make repairs to signals and other things subways need.

Police have arrested a man in connection with Wednesday’s subway stabbing. Twenty-year-old Cassim Celani Cummings is facing multiple charges, including attempted murder. The man who was attacked was treated for stab wounds in the neck.

A teacher who seems to think the mind of a grade 10 student is the paragon of comedy is being investigated by the Toronto District School Board for distributing dead baby jokes to his class. The teacher gave students a list of one-liners that covered other inane joke territory so revered by the undeveloped minds of teenagers, including blonde jokes and jokes about sexual assault. The board sent the teacher home with pay while they investigate.

Think about the two giant pandas that China is lending the Toronto Zoo. Because it’s fun to imagine, think about them walking out of the arrivals gate at Pearson with Hawaiian t-shirts and flip flops on, cornrows in their fur, pulling their suitcases full of bamboo along behind them. And imagine how much cooler that would be then what’s actually happening. The pandas will be shipped by FedEx in special containers on a charter flight. They arrive in the spring.

Izms is being taken off the convenience store menu as police start to crackdown on the stuff. It’s billed as a legal alternative the pot, but police are starting to seize it from stores. They’ve also searched the home of The Izms company’s dad, who lives in Yorkville. The company owner, 28-year-old Adam Wookey, has not been charged with anything yet.

And the first Toronto police officer ever to be charged with murder in connection with an on-the-job incident will not face trial. The judge dismissed the charge, saying there was not enough evidence to proceed.