Declassified: Birds, Beauties, Beanies, and Blades




Declassified: Birds, Beauties, Beanies, and Blades

This edition of Declassified celebrates collections and secretions.

Nothing weird to see here.


Stop gagging. It’s just a guy looking for a lactating MILF. There’s nothing inappropriate about sourcing random lactating MILFs on Craigslist. Craigslist is the best place to meet a lactating MILF who just wants have a nice dinner and be admired for her nutritive secretions. If you were a lactating MILF, you’d be just tickled to find this ad. You’d be thanking that man from Mississauga, and you would call him well before 3pm. Maybe one day you, too, will join the ranks of those who are privy to the subtle enchantments of the lactating MILF. If you’re lucky.


In lieu of cash, employees may choose to be compensated in their choice of pogs, scrunchies, or floppy disks.

Beanie Baby Blowout

No royal blue Peanut? Meh.

Bird of Prey


Toronto the Beautiful

They’re onto something.

A lot of people do a lot of weird stuff on the internet, and ground zero for commercial e-weirdness is Craigslist. In Declassified Torontoist combs over our city’s listings to find the best (and worst) of the bunch.

Find listings we should include in our next edition? Email them to