Newsstand: August 6, 2012

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Newsstand: August 6, 2012

Some Mondays are just simply better than others. Today is one of those good Mondays, so thank you, John Graves Simcoe, for allowing us this day off in your name. Oh, and also thanks for abolishing slavery. That's pretty awesome, too. Today: Toronto's gold-medal glory; a new system for navigating the city; the Eglinton LRT inspires art; a new bike for the victim of an untimely bike theft; justice for Parker; and odd cases of popcorn- and chicken-related anger.

Usain Bolt, who? We’re still basking in the glory of Toronto-born Rosie MacLennan, who won Canada’s first gold medal at the London Olympics on Saturday, finishing first in women’s trampoline. The nation’s new golden girl beat out two of China’s top trampoliners, who took home silver and bronze, to give Canada a taste of that sweet medal glory.

In order to help tourists and newcomers navigate the urban maze that is Toronto, a new network of signs, maps, apps, and urban design is being proposed. Apparently the old system of asking someone for directions has been deemed too “free” and “communicative.” New city slogan: “Come to Toronto, where you can avoid eye contact with strangers!”

The Eglinton LRT is helping the Eglinton West community put its best face forward. A new outdoor exhibit, called the Intergenerational Fence Project, features large-scale images of the neighbours and the nearby street, set up on the fence around the Crosstown construction site. Why there is not a photo of Mayor Rob Ford posing with a subway as a part of this exhibit is beyond us.

A Toronto Star story has spurred Canadian Tire to give a local man a new bike after his was stolen during his attempt to cycle to 30 mosques in 30 days during Ramadan. Each day, Himy Syed rides his bike through the heat on an empty stomach to a new mosque, where he breaks his fast and then blogs about the history and culture of Muslim communities across the GTA. His hope is that the project will break down the stereotypes between Muslims. Our hope is that the Star will catch wind of our stolen Porsche.

In the case of the runaway hot dog, piping hot justice may soon be served. The owner of Parker, the dog freed from an overheating car in a Loblaws parking lot in June, who promptly ran off toward the Gardiner, has been charged. If convicted, the Kingston man faces a maximum of two years in jail, a $60,000 fine and a potential lifetime ban on owning animals.

In today’s weird crime news, a man at Yorkdale became so outraged at the movie theatre’s concession stand prices that he told the people serving him that he was going to go home and get his gun. He was promptly arrested. Did he expect the “threaten-to-get-a-firearm discount,” or perhaps he had a “buy one popcorn and threaten us with violence and get a large drink for free and also get arrested” coupon?

Speaking of misdirected anger, it seems that some GTA residents are mistaking locally owned Chick-Felays for Chick-fil-A, and going in to vent their anger and give the employees pieces of their minds. The owner of the Canadian chain wishes to assure people that Chick-Felays owners are certainly not discriminatory, which should be obvious, since they are “brown people.” Yup.

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