Declassified: The Balls Edition

Because nothing says "summertime" like testicles.

By Kelli Korducki • Illustration by Matthew Daley

In this edition of Declassified: we explore the murky depths of human sexuality. Also, Lego.

Because women from Durham Region and the Toronto area are better equipped to bash balls than the ladies of the ’Saug?

Hand-me-down car testicles make a great Father’s Day gift for that special fella.

Some people are sexually attracted to anthropomorphized animal figures and that is okay. We do not judge an affinity for “glamorous and sexy” cats with creepy come-hither stares and…shoulders? Okay, maybe we judge a little. (Shoulders!)

“The bigger and uglier the better. Show me your worst.” This is another sex thing, isn’t it?

Fun fact: in the States, the plural of Lego is Legos. Interestingly, the words for “excessive” and “overpriced resale” remain the same.

A lot of people do a lot of weird stuff on the internet, and ground zero for commercial e-weirdness is Craigslist. In Declassified Torontoist combs over our city’s listings to find the best (and worst) of the bunch.

Find listings we should include in our next edition? Email them to [email protected].