Declassified: Being Creepy, Being Single, Being Desperate
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Declassified: Being Creepy, Being Single, Being Desperate

In this week’s Declassified, we see Torontonians going from the bottom of the ocean to up, up, and away, plus we get some love from the USA.

Unnatural Attractions

“Are you naturally attracted to weird, bizarre findings?” Yes! (That’s our job!) “Creeps are available in several forms.” Also true! Also true but not mentioned: There is absolutely no demand for this whatsoever.

2000’s Beleaguered Under The Sea

Is this like the 21st century equivalent of finding the locket from Titanic?

Full of Hot Air or Just Tanked?

You are trying to trade a hot air balloon in Barrie for a fish tank? Does that shed any light on perhaps why you don’t have a lover to take in said air balloon?

Nice Legs

This is Craigslisting to perfection.


Hey, thanks for the love, Chicago! We don’t mind helping you out. How about a two-four in exchange for Hulu, Girl Scout cookies, Jessica Paré, Trader Joe’s, and the Stanley Cup?