Weekend Newsstand: January 28, 2012
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Weekend Newsstand: January 28, 2012

This is not a newsocracy—I am the newstator! I will make the newscisions around here, and I will deal with the news-onsequences! Now, if there are no more newsruptions, we can newstinue. Today: LRT squabbling, woman found dead behind the Duff, raccoons are nasty, and booze-trailer heist.

The squabbling over the Eglinton LRT line apparently doesn’t end at Mayor Rob Ford and his councillors. The Globe and Mail reports that the TTC and Metrolinx are also in a tiff over who will handle the design and construction duties for the project. The province has apparently said Infrastructure Ontario—a body designed to attract private-sector funding to public projects—can likely find a contractor to do the work more efficiently than the TTC. TTC officials, for their part, say “no way,” as they believe they’d constantly be sharing their expertise with said third party regardless. And on we rage. The war on the car is so exhausting.

In a rare bit of crime news here in the Newsstand, a woman was found dead in the alley behind Dufferin Mall last night. Police say she was bleeding from the back of the head and appears to have stopped breathing before they found her, at about 6:30 p.m. There have been few details released about the woman or what happened to her, but the homicide squad is investigating, so there’s a hint.

They may look cute and cuddly, but raccoons are also disease-carrying scavengers, so watch out! A surging raccoon population is ramping up the tension on fears that kids who eat their poo could get brain damage. Yes, it’s a real thing. It’s called Baylisascaris procyonis and is relatively rare, but it serves as a reminder that raccoon poo is not as safe as you’d think. The more you know!

First, did you know that foreign diplomats get cheap booze from the LCBO? We didn’t either, but it just doesn’t sound right. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s move on to the big news: An LCBO worker is accused of swindling the company out of more than $1 million in liquor sales. The allegedly crafty scheme seemingly involved setting up fake sales to diplomats, keeping the booze, and selling it from a hinterland booze-trailer. Police cracked the case on a tip that someone was selling cheap alcohol near Stouffville. No word on whether they simply attached it to the trailer hitch and drove it back downtown.