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Newsstand: January 4, 2012
We're four days into the new year. At this point, only wieners are still sticking to their resolutions. In the news: a municipal labour disruption is starting to look more likely, hospital CEO contract disclosures reveal some exorbitant perks, Doug Ford declares war on his own free parking pass, and maybe gondolas aren't such a bad transit strategy after all.
Well folks, it looks like we’re headed toward a City employee lockout pretty soon. Or maybe not, depending on who you want to believe. Either way, a couple of things are now clear: the City wants members of CUPE 416 and 79 to give up some pretty dear provisions, and, if there is to be a labour disruption, the City would prefer it be in winter, when it would have less impact on the general public. Also, it looks like library workers will most likely be joining in in any coming labour disruptions, so now might be the perfect time to borrow that Dostoevsky novel you’ve been meaning to read since high school, but were afraid you wouldn’t be able to finish without having to renew.
Forget this internet stuff, our new ambition is to be CEO of a hospital. According to hospital CEOs’ job contract details, which were released for the first time ever yesterday, those guys get some pretty sweet job perks on top of an already pretty sweet salary. We won’t go into the details here, partially because our envy is creating a Fonzie-like inhibitive stutter. But thanks to our mayor, we Torontonians now have a handy term that summarizes them perfectly and sounds delicious: gravy.
In other job perk news, Councillor Doug Ford (Ward 2, Etobicoke North) has a problem with free parking, at least outside of the context of Monopoly. Yesterday, Ford cut up his Toronto Parking Authority pass, something given to all city councillors every year that allows them to park in any City-owned Green P lot. For Ford, it’s a way to lead by example in the war against gravy. His other plans include bringing a chair from home to council meetings and running his office’s electricity from his own generator.
You might have laughed at them last time, but the Toronto Star thinks it’s time to think again about including gondolas in Toronto’s public transit fleet. The renewed call is inspired by gondola transit projects now springing up all over the world, including a couple in Canada. But is ski lift technology a viable method to combat congestion on Toronto’s roads? And, more importantly, would lines to get on the hypothetical gondolas be interminably long as passengers all try to avoid having to share one with one of those weirdos they always see on the subway? Let the bickering begin!