Weekend Newsstand: December 31, 2011
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Weekend Newsstand: December 31, 2011

Get thee to a nunnery, week-between-Christmas-and-New-Year’s doldrums! We shall banish you will revelry, merry-making, and a slate of news that contains its share of exciting ups and downs. Today: Free TTC tonight, fare hikes tomorrow, a taxi robbery joyride, the mayor responds to the Star, and fewer murders this year.

Enjoy the free New Year’s Eve TTC rides while you can, Toronto, because you’re going to be paying it back starting Sunday. That’s when TTC fares go up 10 cents per token, $5 per Metropass and 50 cents per day pass. But no need to feel sour, that money must be going to making us a greater, faster TTC! (NOT!) So, anyways, pay up. And enjoy that special armpit-to-face synergy that comes with more expensive, more cramped transit.

When you need loot fast, sometimes a home invasion seems like the only answer (just kidding, kids, crime never pays!). So to keep expediency and subterfuge to the max, Torontoist suggests jumping in a taxi, taking it all the way to Barrie, and then robbing someone there. Especially if that person has a mystery safe you can steal. The people who did that this week didn’t make the best go of it, getting pulled over by police on their way back down the 400, but that only leaves room for inspired improvement. The two alleged robbers were charged with a litany of offences, but the casualty of the whole story, really, is the cab driver—the very person who helped police track down the suspects. He now faces a charge for dangerous driving. There’s a bunch of savages in this town.

The mayor and his brother have spoken to their pals at the Toronto Sun about yesterday’s loosely sourced story about his domestic affairs in the Star. They say the person who called 911 got the story wrong, and that Ford wasn’t the one who’d been drinking. He ended up going to Florida with police permission while his wife stayed home. “Look, I think you know a lot of people who have problems behind closed doors,” the mayor told the Sun, suggesting it was unfair for his relationship troubles to be plastered on the front page of a newspaper. And that, wethinks, may be not so far off the mark.

And finally, some great news about murders, you guys! We had fewer of them per capita in 2011 than the previous year, and by no insignificant margin. At 45 homicides this year, we’re well below last year’s 63. The number of solved cases are going up and the number of murders per 100,000 people is going down. Seems the perfect time to bring in a draconian crime bill—we wouldn’t want those prisons to empty out now, would we?