Newsstand: December 27, 2011

Ah, the joys of the holiday season, when all the reporters go on vacation and the only new news is the grisly kind. In the news this Tuesday: naming the city's nameless laneways; fire at the Argos training facility; a car chase; an update, but not that update, on the genderless baby; and more!

By Sarah-Joyce Battersby • Illustration by Brian McLachlan

The 3,600 nameless alleys of Toronto are slowing being made nameless no more. Residents in Harbord Village banded together to brainstorm potential names for the lane-ways that run behind their homes and shops, and so far three new sign posts have been put up, all memorializing local residents. The City says naming alleys can be useful for aiding emergency services, and they’ve approved new names on about 200 lane-ways. The only downside to the naming plan? Now Bono will definitely not be over to visit. And while the loss of potential Bono sightings is a pretty huge blow, the residents of Harbord Village have accepted that fate and decided to soldier on.

Speaking of a need for emergency services, the Toronto Argonauts training facility burned down over the weekend. No word on what started the fire or where the Argos will practice now or if that will even make a difference for team that went six and 12 last season.

A moderate-speed police chase through downtown streets has landed two people in custody. Police gave chase on Monday night after the driver of the suspect car refused to pull over. The chase topped out at about 70 km/h and ended when the suspects hit another car.

Now for a 1,000 word update on the Witterick/Stocker family, those parents of the frenzy-inducing “genderless baby,” Storm. And no, the update does not include the sex of baby Storm. It basically says that the family is standing by their decision, that some people get a little nutty about the whole thing and are compelled to slow down their cars and yell at the one-year-old baby, and what the family did on their summer vacation.

And, into the first draft of history, let it be known and recorded, that Justin Bieber bought his friend a car for Christmas.