culture
Televisualist: If You Wait Long Enough, Something Good Happens
Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.
We know that Louis C.K. chicken wing references are a bit dated, but we're using CityTV's excuse and claiming it is new to Canadians. So there.
Monday
The most exciting Canadian TV news in a long time is that City has picked up Louie, Louis C.K.’s groundbreaking sitcom that is probably the most daring and intelligent comedy airing on TV right now. They’re airing it starting with the first season pilot, and although Televisualist usually would bitch that Louie should have been picked up for Canadian airing a long time ago, at this point we’re just grateful that it’s finally available to Canadian viewers. No idea if they’re going to censor it, though. (9:30 p.m.)
Teletoon has The Addams Family—the extremely fun 1991 remake where Barry Sonnenfeld first loosed his hyperactive camera on the world, and where a completely perfect cast—Raul Julia, Anjelica Huston, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, and Dan Hedaya, among others—provides massive entertainment in a blackly fantastic comedy. You may be wondering if this has aged well. It has, and it’s a perfect start to the two-week period that Hollywood now considers “Halloween.” (6:30 p.m.)
Tuesday
Man Up! is the latest show about men who have to learn how to be manly manly men, after How To Be A Gentleman and Last Man Standing. It is a little better than either of those shows, but not by terribly much. Hopefully we can leave this TV minitrend behind us in the very near future. (ABC, 8:30 p.m.)
There is yet another Republican Presidential debate tonight, because the remaining Republican candidates have not yet demonstrated to all and sundry that not a one of them is suitable for anything resembling public office or for that matter should be allowed near your average kindergarten. Is this week’s debate the one where Herman Cain implodes? Or is it time for Santorumania? Or maybe you could just read a political blog summary somewhere and save yourself two hours of Jesus, tax cuts, and small-gubmint ranting. (CNN, 8 p.m.)
Wednesday
It’s the World Series, which will be between the Texas Rangers and either the Milwaukee Brewers or the St. Louis Cardinals, but at this writing the Cards are up 11-5 over the Brewers in game 6; winning that would give them the National League championship, and the Brewers are playing like a bad Little League team. Of course, if the Cardinals win, they’ll become the villains, as the Rangers have never won a World Series, and people like to root for the team that’s never won a title before. Even if that team is from Texas. (Sportsnet, 8 p.m.)
American Hoggers follows a family of professional boar hunters, who kill wild boars who destroy ranch land and kill livestock. Televisualist is not even going to pretend to be slightly interested in this, sorry. (A&E, 10 p.m.)
The Simpsons rerun of the week: “Treehouse of Horror VII,” which is the one where Kang and Kodos imitate Bill Clinton and Bob Dole during the 1996 Presidential election in what is arguably the most brilliant “Treehouse” segment of all time. “I am Clin-Ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal commands. End communication.” (Comedy Network, 8 p.m.)
Thursday
Rules of Engagement returns for some reason. We are not entirely sure why. One of you people out there really loves David Spade, maybe. (City, 8:30 p.m.)
Jersey Shore concludes its “vacation in Italy” season, and we would like to take back our snark about Rules of Engagement right away, please. Heck, Rules at least has Patrick Warburton in it, and Patrick Warburton is worth 10,000 Snookis. Snookies. What’s the plural of “Snooki,” anyway? This is just another reason we hate Jersey Shore: bad enough these incredibly irritating people are famous for absolutely no good reason, but on top of that they force us to guess as to how to mangle the English language when using them in metaphors. (MTV, 10 p.m.)
Friday
Apparently 20/20 “premieres” tonight. We weren’t aware that news magazine shows in fact had premieres, what with the news happening all the time. You learn something new every day. (CHCH, 10 p.m.)
The Weekend
It’s Canada’s Walk of Fame 2011! This year’s inductees include Dr. Roberta Bondar, Mordecai Richler, Russell Peters, and Ryan Reynolds…wait, really? Look, we like Ryan Reynolds. We think he’s entertaining. But shouldn’t he actually be, like, a big star or something before we put him on the walk of fame, as opposed to somebody who demonstrably can’t carry a movie yet? Then again, we did put Martin Short on it, and until Martin Short showed up on How I Met Your Mother last month, we all thought he was dead. (Global, 8 p.m. Sunday)
Once Upon A Time is ABC’s new TV show about fairy tales living in the real world, which just screams out that they tried to get the rights to the Fables comic book series and couldn’t quite swing it. Regardless, the show has a decent pedigree, with Lost veterans behind the scenes and some solid acting talent (Jennifer Morrison, Ginnifer Goodwin, Robert Carlyle, and Giancarlo Esposito), and the trailer makes the show look like enjoyable, pulpy fun. And couldn’t we all use some fun? (ABC, 8 p.m. Sunday)
Originally, the blurb about Canada’s Walk of Fame mentioned that Colin Mochrie was on Canada’s Walk of Fame. As Mr. Mochrie himself made clear to us, he is not in fact on Canada’s Walk of Fame, presumably because he is not famous enough to have somebody read Torontoist for him and then email us to make us look like schmucks. We apologize to Mr. Mochrie, who may not be Walk-worthy, but is a funny guy, and have replaced him with actual Walk of Fame member Martin Short, on the basis that either Martin Short is too famous to notice us making fun of him, or he will notice, in which case we’ll just have to do this all over again but get to brag about how Martin Short totally reads Torontoist.