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Newsstand: October 26, 2011
Oh Wednesday, you came and you rained and you brought us some news: council bans shark fins across Toronto, the zoo's elephants have a date with a California sanctuary, council wants to license movers, and Ford wants to sell 10 per cent of Toronto Hydro.
The Great Shark Ban at City Hall has reached an appropriately circus-like conclusion (appropriate for City Hall, not shark fins), with a large inflatable shark floating above people’s heads courtesy of Councillor Glenn De Baeremaeker (Ward 38, Scarborough Centre), people dressed in shark costumes, protesting Chinese restaurant owners, and more at yesterday’s council meeting. But in the end, council voted to go ahead with it, which means the sale, possession, and consumption of shark fins will be banned throughout Toronto as of September 2012. That should give everyone serious about shark fins enough time to hoard a good personal stash before the Chinese delicacy goes the way of marijuana and vanilla Coke.
Some days the heavens smile on you in the form of two city council–related animal stories, and it looks like today is one of those days. After much debate, council has voted to send Toka, Thika, and Iringa, the Toronto Zoo’s three soon-to-be-evicted elephants, to a California elephant sanctuary, where they will be able to kick back in a whirlpool, compare tusk sizes, and attempt to fly to their hearts’ content, all while enjoying the Golden State sunshine. But don’t worry, Toronto, they’ll never forget you.
It’s more or less official: Rob Ford will be running for mayor again in 2014. Now’s the time to shake your head, sigh, take a sip of coffee and wish it was vodka, and remind yourself of all the good things in life, like piglets, muffin baskets, and the delightful face of Steve Buscemi.
Council is pushing to license movers after finding out some movers extort customers for extra cash by holding their possessions hostage. We could come up with some sort of mover-related one-liner here, but to be honest, we’ve had vanilla Coke on the brain for the last three paragraphs, and it’s making things difficult.
Metrolinx has assembled its team for the construction of a rail line between Union Station and Pearson Airport, which should be completed in time for the Pan Am Games in 2015. A group of construction companies will work together to build the line, but we won’t know how much it will cost until next year. The project has so far been widely supported with only a single dissenting voice: the guy in the snack booth at Kipling Station.
“This one’s quick-acting, this one’s long-lasting. When do I need to feel good, now or later?” We don’t know if that old Jerry Seinfeld routine was playing in Rob Ford’s head as he announced the City is looking to sell off 10 per cent of Toronto Hydro, a company that brings millions of dollars into city coffers, or if it was just the classic monkeys playing golf fantasy. Either way, short-term gain in the name of reducing debt seems to be Ford’s plan, as he also said the City wants to sell all of its interests in downtown energy producer Enwave, and that he’s been cruising pawn shops to see what he can get for the Chain of Office.