You dress like crap 50 weeks of the year. TIFF's your chance to class it up. Here's how.
Somewhere in between Katy Perry’s block-of-cheese hat and your threadbare Lululemons lies the perfect red carpet attire. Striking the right balance may seem daunting. You may
find yourself asking questions like: what kind of kitsch is the good kind (pace Lady
Gaga)? Are red soles still ‘in’ post–YSL vs. Louboutin trial? Will wearing sunglasses
get you more press? Should your tie and pocket square match the colour of your date’s
undergarments? Spanx or no Spanx?
The answer is yes; always wear Spanx when attending a red carpet event. Haven’t your learned anything from Oprah besides what books to read? The patented removable butt-lets give you that “extra perky” look. Why be anything less than extra perky?!
As for the rest, the answers may not be so crystal clear. That’s why we’ve come up with a few surefire steps to get you red carpet–ready—minus the underwear lines.
Gals: blo blow dry bar in Yorkville (21 Avenue Road) will get your locks glamour-ready for $35. Style options include “the red carpet” and “the holly would”—so apropos!
Dudes: RUINS Boutique (960 Queen Street West) has a secret in the back room: a barbershop. Clean up those necklines if you want to turn heads. Nothing makes you feel like a hundred dollars quite like a hot shave.
Gals: Head to the NARS make-up counter at Holt Renfrew (50 Bloor Street West). Ask your make-up artist to use the critically acclaimed bronzer, Laguna, a favourite among celebrities. You get a free make-up application with the purchase of three items (buy a lipstick, the bronzer, and the mud mask).
Dudes: If you wear make-up, chances are you already know exactly what to do. If you
don’t, now’s probably not the best time to start experimenting. Do get a manicure,
though, and make sure your skin is under control. Try Vikaspa (88 Avenue Road), where a manicure will run you $32 and something called the gentleman’s facial (get your mind out of the gutter!) will set you back $100.
THE DRESS AND/OR SUIT
Gals: This year think vintage. Think Fortuny. Think Barbra Stanwyck and the Titanic.
Head to The Cat’s Meow (180 Avenue Road) or I Miss You (63 Ossington Ave) and score a one-of-a-kind tinsel town frock.
Dudes: Decide right now if you’re a rock star or a movie star. Rock stars wear leather; movie stars wear pure silk. Rock stars say Margiela; movie stars say Tom Ford. It’s really quite simple. If you have any concerns, call Gian-Paolo Mazzotta (647-352-0100) for a private tailoring and style consultation.
Gals: Need that extra little je ne sais quoi? Sure you do. You can never have too much je ne sais quoi, after all. Chances are Chopard won’t lend you $70,000 worth of emeralds to suspend from your ears for a night, so what’s a girl to do? Fake it! Try Made You Look (1338 Queen Street West) in Parkdale or Love of Mine (781A Queen Street West).
Dudes: Tick-tock. The best swag for a guy is a wristwatch, time and time again (get it?). If
you have a Rolex, wear it. If you don’t, here are some alternatives: Toy Watch ($300, available at Hudson Bay Co., 176 Yonge Street.), Nixon($100–$650 available at Watch It! Downtown, 317 Yonge Street), or, for the budget-minded, O’Clock ($25–$50 available at A2Zane, 1040 Queen Street West).
Boom. Now don’t you look like one piping-hot mess?
TIFF runs September 8-18, but the parties are starting now. And if you don’t look great, you look like shit.
Justine Iaboni blogs about fashion, clothes, and other stuff at WhateverEurotrash.