news
Newsstand: September 12, 2011
Once upon a week Monday happens, and we're just going to have to deal with it. Getting on with it, we present the news: city manager's report on service cuts due out today, protesters protested over the weekend, longboarders got in the way, Ferris wheel plan man had given up on it until RoFo re-inflated the dream, and Mississauga is better than Toronto.
Though the only things we know about John Kowal are that he used to work as a manufacturing engineer in the auto industry, he’s 77 years old, he thinks a Ferris wheel would be a great attraction for Toronto, and he talks to Rob Ford on the phone sometimes, we’re sure he’s probably a really nice guy. Kowal is the man we all have to thank for planting the image of a giant Ferris wheel in the minds of the Brothers Ford. Apparently he’s been pitching this idea up and down the boardwalk for seven years but getting nothing but a chuck on the chin in return for his efforts until Rob Ford came along. The two have been in touch since RoFo was elected to council, and they’ve shared many a late night phone call.
Speaking of innovative revenue streams for the city, a new report comes out this morning from the City Manager about proposed service cuts. The report follows up on the findings of the Core Service Review KPMG undertook in July, but now the service cuts are going to stop being polite and start getting real. People inside City Hall say the report will not bring the apocalyptic collapse in city services predicted by soothsayers like Margaret Atwood. But have those insiders ever read The Handmaid’s Tale? That shit got real.
Soothsayers took to the streets, parks, and churches this weekend to talk about the direness of the potential service cuts. Despite fears that the City was trying to stop their Stop the Cuts rally in Dufferin Grove, a group of advocates showed up on Saturday to rally against Rob Ford’s gravy slaying mission.
Some other people took to the streets this weekend, but not because they care about civic engagement. No, these were just a bunch of damn punk kids clogging up traffic and dressing up like hooligans so they could ride their dangnabit confangled new self-propulsion dohickeys through the streets. Dubbing the event a “board meeting,” hundreds of longboarders (and some skateboarders) rode down the middle of the street from Yonge and St. Clair down to the Kensington Market by way of some crazy route that included stints on Queen Street and University Avenue. Think: an illegal and pointless version of critical mass. Organizers didn’t tell the police about the ride, but, damn, the man came out anyway and offered police escorts.
And a little while ago Hamilton beat Toronto at being nice to Margaret Atwood by inviting her to tour their new library. Now Mississauga is beating Toronto at being nice to pedestrians. After closing City Centre Drive during construction of Celebration Square, most Mississauga city councillors favour keeping the road closed permanently. The road in Mississauga. Mississauga, Ontario.