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Newsstand: July 20, 2011
Alright Wednesday, show us what you got: the City considers cancelling the Christmas bureau, a new consultant’s report suggests cutting public art programs, and the Parkdale food bank is safe, but for how long?
The potentially hilarious image of our mayor dressed as Santa Claus obviously never entered the minds of councillors on the Economic Development committee yesterday. Or maybe it did, and it just turned out to be creepy. Either way, the committee has voted to pass budget consultant/horde of winged monkeys KPMG’s recommendation to scrap the City’s Christmas bureau on to the Executive Committee, bringing the program, through which the City hands out gifts and donations to thousands of needy families every year, one step closer to non-existence. The committee voted against sending a recommendation to scrap Winterlicious to the Executive Committee, but the joke that could be made there is so easy we won’t even bother.
Quick, what’s another way for the City to save money while simultaneously sticking it to its residents? If you guessed increasing user fees for recreational programs, you’re right! If you guessed implementing road tolls for people driving into the city centre, you’d also be right, but that’s probably not going to happen. So it’ll have to be swimming lessons and fitness classes that take the hit. The City wants the programs to cover the full cost of their delivery, which means their revenues would need to increase by approximately 70 per cent. And if a few fat kids can’t exercise because of that, that’s just the cost of doing business.
Speaking of dismantling the city piece by piece, the latest KPMG report comes out today. This one targets public art programs, heritage grants, and street beautification during construction, among other things. Rumour has it the next KPMG report will target the KPMG reports themselves, and will burst into flames before councillors’ eyes.
After months of news reports on assault and murder, there’s finally some good news coming out of Parkdale: Despite financial problems, the Parkdale Community Food Bank will keep on trucking for at least a few more months thanks to donations and a new partnership with the Parkdale BIA and local businesses. The food bank still needs support though, particularly from businesses. So all you CEOs reading Torontoist (there’s got to be, like, one or two at least), visit the food bank’s website to donate or get in touch.
Get out your giant foam cowboy hats and coconut bikinis, because the Google Street View tricycle is in Toronto, and may soon be taking panoramic photographs as it rolls through a neighbourhood near you. Even if you don’t want to go down in internet history the way that naked Japanese man did, it’s got to be worth it just to see two guys pushing a contraption that looks like the lunar rover up a hill.