Illustration by Kyra Kendall/Torontoist.
Monday’s got a lot of love to give: your dog is probably gravy, Doug Ford accused of threatening elections activist, public pianos are meant to be played, and hurdles for divorce-seekers. Oh, and also: that heat you may have noticed? It’s not going anywhere. Except onto your body. To make you sweaty.
The work of sniffing out the gravy is ongoing, and the latest report generated for the City by consultants targets the licensing of the city’s cats and dogs (ironically your closest allies if you want to sniff out some real gravy, amIright?). Although the licensing program takes in $600,000 a year, only 10 per cent of cats and 30 per cent of the city’s dogs are actually licensed, making it, arguably, a little useless. Think of all those unlicensed beasts roaming the streets! Also on the chopping block are licenses given out to businesses that offer non-essential services, which could mean anything from body rub parlours to barber shops. Non-essential? Tell that to someone who really needs a rub-down and a haircut.
After receiving complaints that Rob Ford’s mayoral campaigns broke municipal election laws, the City’s compliance audit committee has ordered an audit of the RoFo campaign—a decision he’s been appealing in court. This Wednesday, the committee will decide whether to pursue the same of four other city councillors, including Doug Ford, whose campaigns have been targeted by the group Fair Elections Toronto. But we’re not even at the juicy news-bits yet, guys: the head of FET, Adam Chaleff-Freudenthaler, has now issued a complaint saying that Doug Ford accosted and threatened him outside of council chamber, warning him to “be prepared” for some indeterminate thing.
Torontonians should be prepared, too… for pop-up sing-alongs! Toronto pianist and singer Lenni Jabour is an activist on a crusade against pianos around Toronto being treated like museum pieces rather than instruments. Jabour says that the city is full of pianos in public spaces, and many go unplayed. In response, she’s been organizing guerilla concerts with a couple of string players, most recently tackling a baby grand in the Forest Hill Loblaws on St. Clair.
Well, it’s official: divorce has gone out of fashion. There was a piece in the New York Times last month about how a changed idea of marriage has made calling it quits a Gen X taboo. Starting today, in an effort to relieve pressure on Ontario’s court system, every couple in the province seeking a divorce will have to attend an information session on alternatives before being allowed to go to court. Hey, we’re all for mediation and other ways of circumventing legal battles, but something about the ominous wording of “alternatives” and “information session” has us picturing a weekend-long workshop in a high school classroom where your have to sit through sex-ed-calibre VHS videos called “Making it Work” and the like.
It’s already raining right now, but it’s not gonna be much of a relief this week. There’s going to be a whole lot of sunny and a whole lot of it’s this hot but it feels like it’s this hot going on. And by this and this we mean 30-something and 40-something degrees respectively. Ouch. Whatever, though, you know what? We whine about how cold it is for like eight months of the year and then it gets uncomfortably hot for a short bit, but maybe by the time it does we’ve maxed out all the credit on our whine card, you know?