Newsstand: July 25, 2011
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Newsstand: July 25, 2011

Illustration by Kyra Kendall/Torontoist.

Monday’s got 99 problems, but a slow-pitch tournament ain’t one: Ford doesn’t have to pay more than $13,000 worth of bylaw dues, TPS can’t find a way to cut its budget without massive layoffs, and dogs’ taste for sweet mail-carrier flesh is on the rise.

If you’re looking for a reason to not pay a parking ticket and you want to take an “I don’t negotiate with hypocrites” stance, this tidbit might be of use to you. Earlier this spring the City waived a fine of $13,362.25 incurred by the RoFo election campaign for sign-related bylaw infractions. The violations in and of themselves are not uncommon—many mayoral runs incur similar fines, often within the last few days of a campaign (a fleet of eager-beaver volunteers will not be tamed by details like bylaws). Ford has the dubious distinction of having racked up the heftiest ticket this time around, and while candidates are given 30 days to appeal their financial penalty, he languished for more than two months before making a plea. Officials from Municipal Licensing and Standards say they had to lean on Ford to get his paperwork in at all. Despite his extreme laziness, flagrant contempt for the process, inability to humble himself, tardiness, Ford’s fine was waived, and he did not have to cough up enough money to fund a year’s undergraduate tuition and living expenses the more than 13,000 bones.
Speaking of RoFo and flow, the mayor has put the Toronto Police Force in a real doozy of a budget-related bind. Ford has demanded that the TPS scrape together more than eight per cent in its budget to cut. While the mayor has said that if he had his own little way, he’d eat peaches every day not make these numbers by laying anyone off himself, the TPS budget is made up almost entirely of salary and benefit costs, leaving the force few options. Chief of Police Bill Blair has said that as many as 750 officers and 400 civilian staff will need to be laid at the altar and sacrificed laid off in order to appease the gods of budgeting meet the mayor’s demands.
Residents of Roncesvalles, rejoice! The street’s tale of never-ending construction has come to a close. After two years, Roncy is finally breathing easy and free of construction.
In the first weeks of July, Canada Post workers across the country have reported 41 dog attacks. While the majority of dog-on-carrier attacks regularly take place in the summer, the spike this year has been particularly spiky. When graphed, the number of incidents looks just like a canine tooth.