Newsstand: June 6, 2011
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Newsstand: June 6, 2011

Illustration by Sasha Plotnikova/Torontoist.

Hey Monday, gimme five…on the side…up high…down low: you’re too slow! Today: spongeing up gravy is a bummer, it’s Josh v. Josh at City Hall, Torontonians are mostly nice to tourists but maybe a bit cynical about what’s cool, and the city’s coon problem proves surprisingly divisive.

We’ve got a riddle for you. Q: How do you clean up a gravy spill? A: With fire. Fire…ing people, that is. Later this week, Ford Nation will wrap up an exercise in sniffing out sources of gravy, and plans to start implementing cuts and outsourcing are anticipated later this summer. The mood among civil servants at City Hall is, according to reports from the Globe and Mail, a little wahn-wahn-wahn-wahhhnnnnn (that’s the sound of things being a bummer).
Speaking of extraneous stuff at City Hall, did you know that there are two Joshes on City Council? This has us all asking the age-old question: how many Joshes does a City need? Or maybe the real question is: how many Joshes can a City handle? The answer to the latter may be “slightly less than two,” because it seems no one can tell Josh Matlow (Ward 22, St. Paul’s) and Josh Colle (Ward 15, Eglinton-Lawrence) apart. Both councillors appear to be men in suits with faces. We can see why this would be tough to keep straight.
In other news, the Toronto Star went undercover to find out how well or poorly Torontonians treat the tourists stumbling around the city this time of year. The results? It seems it wasn’t hard to get Torontonians to help the reporter-as-tourist find her way, but they were prone to be a little honest about where the attractions she was seeking fall on the lame scale.
But why give out advice to tourists for free when you could be getting paid for it? The TTC has hired eighteen “student ambassadors” who have scored (or gotten stuck with, we guess, depending on who you ask) summer jobs pointing tourists and commuters in the right direction at seven downtown subway stations. Things are going just swimmingly. That’s really all there is to report about that.
If you’ve got a case of the coons, the City doesn’t have the funds to help you with that: “Raccoons happen” explains Councillor Glenn De Baeremaeker. Feelings are running high about the ubiquitous critters after Toronto resident Dong Nguyen was arrested last week for attacking raccoons in his backyard with a shovel. The Bloordale neighbourhood where Nguyen lives is divided: posters have cropped up targeting Nguyen, but this weekend his neighbours also held an anti-raccoon rally.
It sounds like the City has Presto-change-o-ed its mind about implementing the Presto fare card system on the TTC. It’s not clear when or how or what it’s going to cost or who’s going to pay for it. Details to be announced, we think.
In feels-kinda-good news, a park in Etobicoke where he played as a kid has been re-named in honour of the late Jeff Healey. The jazz and blues musician died of cancer in 2008.