Televisualist: Finally We Can Start Looking Forward to the Next Election
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Televisualist: Finally We Can Start Looking Forward to the Next Election

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

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We wrung one more election-themed image out of Brett, despite his wailing about “blood from a stone” and “no more election art, please God.” You’re welcome. Illustration by Brett Lamb/Torontoist.

Monday

So you might not have heard, but apparently there is a federal election happening today. So first off, before you decide to sit down in front of your idiot box, go vote. Did you vote? Good. Then you have your choice of options as to what to watch for election coverage. SunTV and CP24 begin at 8 p.m., long before polls even close. (Presumably SunTV wants to make sure it tells all virtuous Canadians to vote Tory.) The CBC, Newsworld, CTV, and Global sign on at 9 p.m., a half hour before polls close here. Finally, CityTV begins its election coverage at 10 p.m, recognizing that what Canadians are really worried about is not missing The Event.

Tuesday

If you’re still electionized today, Steve Paikin devotes tonight’s episode of The Agenda to the election and analyzing it and wrapping it up and so forth. You kind of suspect Paikin just put this on the schedule as an empty spot. “Can we find anything for Tuesday the 3rd? What do you mean the Serbians cancelled? Okay, screw it, we’ll just say it’s a ‘post-election special’ and… whatever. I don’t care. Where’s my vodka, dammit?” Because Fantasy Steve Paikin is a total boozehound, you see. (TVO, 8 p.m.)
A Day At The Races is, along with A Night At The Opera, widely considered to be the best of the Marx Brothers’ films at MGM and by many to be the best overall of the Marx ouevre. Describing the plot is pointless, because this is a Marx Brothers film. (Turner Classic, 8 p.m.)

Wednesday

Younger people might not understand that there was a time when we were all sick of The Commitments, because Alan Parker’s motley band of Roddy Doyle–inspired musician/actors were absolutely everywhere and people were acting like they were a real band and they released an album and appeared on awards shows to perform and it was a terrible case of early-90s-style overexposure almost ruining something that was otherwise good. Because it’s a good movie, see. (CHCH, 8 p.m.)
The Simpsons rerun of the week: “Stark Raving Dad,” which features Michael Jackson as someone who thinks he’s Michael Jackson, and is credited to an imaginary name because this is an old enough episode that they still did that then. “I can’t wear pink! Everyone at work wears white! I’m not popular enough to be different.” (Comedy Network, 9 p.m.)

Thursday

This week’s episode of Community is entitled “A Fist Full of Paintballs,” and is clearly meant to evoke “Modern Warfare,” the brilliant paintball episode from the show’s first season. Which is fine, because another episode as good as “Modern Warfare” was would be a very fine thing indeed. (City, 8 p.m.)

Friday

Fringe concludes its third season, and… well, apparently now there’s something to do with time travel going on. We have no idea. Fringe is like that, sometimes, which is why it is always worth getting into. (City, 9 p.m.)

The Weekend

The Amazing Race concludes with a two-hour episode as the final four teams race to the finish in the Florida Keys. Remaining are Gary and Mallory, the father-daughter couple where the daughter is certfiably insane; Flight Time and Big Easy, the fan-favourite Harlem Globetrotters team; Zev and Justin, the “one of them has Asperger’s!” team; and Kisha and Jen, the team of spunky black ladies (who really have no personality beyond being spunky and therefore are the least interesting). The Race is always most exciting right at the end, and this should prove no exception. (CTV, 8 p.m. Sunday)
Celebrity Apprentice stretches to a three-hour special episode this week, presumably because Donald Trump’s star has at long-last peaked. It’s all downhill from here, Donald. (Global, 8 p.m. Sunday)

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