Declassified: MARCH MADNESS!!

By Kelli Korducki

A lot of people do a lot of weird stuff on the internet, and ground zero for commercial e-weirdness is Craigslist. In Declassified, Torontoist combs over our city’s listings to find the best (and worst) of the bunch.

Welcome to the End of Civilization edition of Declassified, where your faith in humanity will be replaced by visions of crazed pet owners, face-palmingly chauvinistic car owners, and oh-so-much more.

Indoor waterfalls and MSG-laden gorgefests = suburban aphrodisiacs. You read it here first.

Friends don’t let friends think they’re the Fonz. Let this be a lesson.

Note to seller: If you’re asking $30 for what Torontoist confirms is a 2003-vintage cellphone, *locked to Rogers* no less, you might want to consider being a little more flexible about pick-up arrangements. You also might want to evaluate your moral fibre.

Psychopath.

Electric cattle prods may or may not have been involved in the making of this ad.