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Declassified: Clowns, Orangutans, and Sick Kitties
A lot of people do a lot of weird stuff on the internet, and ground zero for commercial e-weirdness is Craigslist. In Declassified, Torontoist combs over our city’s listings to find the best (and worst) of the bunch.
Illustration by Roxanne Ignatius/Torontoist.
In this edition of Declassified, we give you reasons to drink, and then we restore your faith in humanity. Deal?
We Drink Because We Care
We can stop drinking whenever we want to. But we don’t want to, BECAUSE WE HAVE CATS TO SAVE. Jesus.
It’s Coffee Time Time
Tim Hortons would never put up with this shit, but at Coffee Time the orangutan is welcome extra business. This is but one reason Coffee Time is the greatest.
Send In the Clowns
It’s nice that someone, somewhere, was able to look past the grease paint, the poofy wig, the rubber nose, and the stilts to the sexiness within. Unless all those things were part of the appeal.
But Where Do We Put the Wasabi?
“It’s a two-hour gig. Eight, if you count the shower afterward.”
We Have a Winner
Oh, wow. Wow! A perfectly reciprocal proposal, that everybody walks away from a winner. Wow. Is there a Nobel Peace Prize for achievements in the advancement of Craigslist sanity?
It’s Always a Good Idea to Smoke Whatever People Throw at You From Their Cars
Score.