Urban Planner is Torontoist’s guide to what’s on in Toronto, published every weekday morning, and in a weekend edition Friday afternoons. If you have an event you’d like considered, email all of its details—as well as images, if you’ve got any—to [email protected].
Underpants are for suckers at Sunday’s Laugh Sabbath. Photo by Chandra Menard, courtesy of Brian Barlow.
The weekend according to Torontoist: Robbie Burns is celebrated, Jizzy Ranks has the Varsity Blues, UFashion gets festive, Poetry Slam gets competitive, Harbourfront stays warm, Laugh Sabbath gives you the giggles. Phew!
EAT: It’s Scottish New Years! It’s better known as Robbie Burns Night, and if you don’t know what we’re talking about, you’re missing out. The Star’s Josh Rubin, beer writer and single malt aficionado, wants to see all Scots (and wannabe Scots too) at The Monk’s Table for the Robbie Burns Festival. Friday boasts not one, not two, but three aged malts; Saturday goes sexy with oysters served with stout; and Sunday sees Belhaven Cream ale for the best price in the city. Reservations only for individual tastings. The Monk’s Table (1276 Yonge Street), bar hours until 2 a.m., $40.
SPORTS: Can’t afford Raptors tickets? University basketball is your ticket. U of T’s Men’s Varsity Blues, coached by the cerebral Mike Katz and his high-energy assistant Josh Suteir (a.k.a. Jizzy Ranks, and worth the price of admission in his own right) are 9-4 heading into two home games this weekend: Friday night against Royal Military College and Saturday night against Queen’s. Plus, on both nights a single bill scores you into both the men’s and women’s games and offers the kind of courtside seats you’d have to do funny things to a celebrity to get for an NBA game. Even better: This week is Think Pink Week, to benefit breast cancer awareness. The Athletic Centre sports gym (55 Harbord Street), Women’s games start at 6 p.m., Men’s game’s at 8 p.m., $10 ($5 for students, free for U of T students).
SHOPPING: The University of Toronto’s visual studies thesis class has paired with UFashion to help you get your style on: Coat of the Cat: A Fashion Story is a night of shopping, runway art videos, and live performances by Afi Babybrown and the Voodoo Children from Saturn. Friday night in the Hart House Debates Room, fashionistas gather for a good cause (not scarves and skinny jeans, though they’re good too) to raise bling for the Visual Studies Thesis fund for their end of year art show. And at least when that rolls around, you’ll have something fab to flaunt. Hart House Debates Room (7 Hart House Circle), 8 p.m., $15.
WORDS: Toronto Poetry Slam, the monthly spoken word competition pitting the finest poets in the city against each other, invites you—yes, you—to bring your best three poems or rhymes and show off what you got. Saturday is the second last slam of the season, so bring your haikus and sonnets to the Drake Hotel Underground to go head-to-head with Detroit’s Thomas Budday, winner of the first slam and author of Blood, Bone and the Little Birds. And FYI, ladies, the All-Female Poetry Slam continues the quest for poetic glory this Monday (more details here). The Drake Hotel Underground (1150 Queen Street West), doors 7 p.m./sign-up 7:30 p.m./show at 8 p.m., $5.
SKATE: Looking for a little exercise? Break a sweat outside at Harbourfront Centre’s DJ Skate Saturday nights, an ice skating party featuring local and international DJs as you dash effortlessly around and impress your date. Rent skates (and a helmet, you klutz), score a locker, and get grooving: Saturday features DJs Andy Reid, Simon Jain, and YUG spinning house as you just spin. And if you’re freezing to death, the town’s even providing you with free hot chocolate. Harbourfront Centre’s Natrel Rink (235 Queens Quay West), 8 p.m.–11p.m., FREE.
COMEDY: Comedy collective Laugh Sabbath—who call themselves “the funniest jokesters in town”—stops by the Rivoli on Sunday to premiere their new show, Poppa Proppa’s House of Jokes. Proppa is the plaid-clad alter ego of comedian Brian Barlow, host of The Loner Show, who delivers painfully terrible jokes (deliberately though) with the help of his posse of featured guests: Chris Locke, Steve Scholtz, Kathleen Phillips, and a million more. The Rivoli (332 Queen Street West), doors open Sunday at 8:30 p.m., $5.