Craigslist Do-Gooder Seeks Bike's Rightful Owner
Torontoist has been acquired by Daily Hive Toronto - Your City. Now. Click here to learn more.

Torontoist

7 Comments

news

Craigslist Do-Gooder Seeks Bike’s Rightful Owner

20100809bike-stolen.jpg
Torontoist has something of a penchant for tracking down practitioners of random acts of good-samaritanship.
Today, out of the depths of Craigslist, we bring you an anonymous* do-gooder who bought a stolen bike with the hopes of returning it to its rightful owner.


Torontoist: So what happened when this person tried to sell you the bike? Did you call him/her out on it being obviously stolen?
Anonymous Do-Gooder: Here’s the script.
Day. My friends and I are in Vermont Square Park.
STRANGER rides up: I’m selling my bike for twenty dollars because I need a bus ticket.
Long, awkward pause.
US: It seems to us that you are selling a stolen bike.
STRANGER: Well, it’s not.
STRANGER rides away
ME, chasing after STRANGER: Wait!
STRANGER, crying: Why does everyone think I stole this bike?
ME: Because you’re selling it in a suspicious way.
STRANGER, sadly: No one trusts me.
ME: How about this? I’ll give you twenty dollars for your bike, but I have a weird fetish. You have to pretend you stole this bike and make up the location you stole it from.
STRANGER: Bathurst and Lakeshore.
ME: Really?
STRANGER: I don’t know.
ME, buying bike: Awesome.
STRANGER exits.
Me: Maybe they did own it?
FRIEND, laughing: That STRANGER tried to sell me a bike weeks ago.
Why are you so nice? What’s wrong with you?
What would make a good movie? That’s my criterion for moral decisions. In terms of being nice, I’m nothing compared to my family. You know that scene in Pay it Forward when Haley Joel Osment gets stabbed? That’s my dad.
Do you believe in karma?
No. I do believe that our choices inspire the choices of others.
Are you a cyclist?
I started cycling in Toronto last Sunday on the Island. I cycled all week. Today, I got a flat tire.
Have you ever had a bike stolen?
Nope. My friend’s bike was stolen three days ago.
Have you had any bites on your Craigslist ad yet?
One heartbreaker from a hopeful looking for their red bike (my stolen bike is not red). It’s mostly people sending nice messages in solidarity.
* We know the anonymous do-gooder’s name, but we’ve been asked not to reveal it.
Allegedly.
Thanks to reader Amanda Lynne Ballard for the tip.

Comments