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Newsstand: July 16, 2010
Illustration by Matt Daley/Torontoist.
Today, the TTC is late again, spunky trees plague Toronto, and Ontario Place is looking for a makeover.
Are you looking to give your home that “just masturbated” aroma without the time and effort of having to rub one out yourself? Try planting a tree of heaven! It appears that the so-called “sperm tree” is rampant in the streets of Toronto, bringing with it shade, beauty, and a distinct semen-like smell. As with humans, only the male produces the scent and only when in full bloom. The tree of heaven is considered an invasive species and is hard to get rid of, but the Star notes that “[it] can be controlled if its suckers are repeatedly pulled.”
Maybe you can text them to find out when it’s coming. The delivery of the TTC’s much-ballyhooed customer service panel report has been pushed back for a second time. Originally scheduled for the end of June, it was subsequently announced that the release would be delayed until late July due to the G20 summit, and the date has now been moved to August 23. TTC Chair Adam Giambrone said the the wait is necessary to ensure that the report is of appropriate quality while union boss Bob Kinnear said, in an apparent non-sequitur, that “the union has been reaching out to ethnic groups including Chinese, Ethiopian, and Tamil communities” and is “building relations to ensure we become friends.”
In other TTC news, residents near Donlands and Greenwood subway stations aren’t pleased with the TTC’s compromise solution to the problem of building new exits to meet fire safety regulations. The original plan called for the expropriation and demolition of four homes, but after a public outcry an alternative was proposed which would entail the loss of a single home and the narrowing of a street. However, the Post reports that many residents attending a meeting on Wednesday night were still unhappy, citing concerns about construction and increased traffic in the area. TTC sources say there is a back-up plan which would require passengers to take a train through an underground tunnel or “subway” to another location from which they could safely exit.
Faced with a massive drop in attendance over the last few years, Ontario Place is looking to undertake a major makeover. The park by the lake, which hasn’t changed all that much since it was Upper Canada Park (ba-dum-BUM!), will be bringing in developers, architects, and visionaries to recreate and revitalize the OP experience. Organizers hope to have a plan in place by next July. Hopefully some of the traditional attractions will be maintained and future generations of Torontonians can be introduced to the tedium and despair of paddle-boating.
Arrrr! Police busted a massive ring of DVD pirates in a Markham home on Monday. The operation was uncovered after the residents, who apparently had a really lousy week, called to report a home invasion. Approximately 100,000 DVDs of illegally copied movies were seized.