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Newsstand: June 9, 2010
lllustration by Clayton Hanmer/Torontoist.
From now on, call him “Shih Thern-Min.” That’s the name the Chinese community gave to mayoral candidate George Smitherman, and it will come in handy when he jet sets to China tomorrow. The Chinese consulate singled out Smitherman and invited him on a four-day, expenses-paid trip to speak at the International Mayors’ Forum in Zhengzhou. The fact that Smitherman is not, nor has ever been mayor, didn’t seem to be a concern for some reason, but the whole thing has some of the other candidates crying no fair. Rival Rob Ford said the trip “smells bad,” like a “return to a culture of corruption,” and said he couldn’t understand why Smitherman was going; after all, “He’s just an average person.”
And speaking of people who aren’t mayors but would sure like to be, CP24 held another televised debate among the six main candidates last night. Transit, bike lanes, and Giorgio Mammoliti’s one-man “war on cars” were familiar subjects at the debate. One thing they all agreed on was Pride Toronto’s ban of Queers Against Israeli Apartheid from the parade. Of course the dreaded G20 made the discussion, although Rob Ford thinks it’ll be a great opportunity for tourists to “go to the ball game.” Smitherman reminded him the Jays game will be played in the U.S. due to one billion security concerns.
Make that one billion and one. Ontario police are combing the province for a man who bought enough fertilizer to make a bomb. The man bought fifteen hundred kilograms of ammonium nitrate in Lincoln, about an hour from Toronto. With the summits only a few weeks away, police are looking for the individual, whom they describe as having a limp and possibly missing fingers on his right hand, to confirm that he intends to use the bomb ingredients as fertilizer. Riiiight.
And in the security vein, it turns out the company bringing in one-thousand-plus guards to uphold the law is actually breaking it, because it’s not licensed in Ontario. Contemporary Security Canada, a subsidiary of a U.S.-based company, was hired by the RCMP to screen pedestrians at the G8 and G20 summits and is now scrambling to get approval. Canadian security companies are peeved the gig went to an unlicensed company, especially because some say that at twenty to twenty-four dollars an hour, summit guards will be making double that of Ontario guards. Said Ross McLeod, president of the Association of Professional Security, “If they’re throwing that money around like a drunken sailor, they’re obviously being paid way, way too much.”
Maybe that drunken sailor can take a cruise on the fake lake, which won’t cost two million dollars by the way, phew! No, no, everyone can relax; it will only cost a miserly 1.9 million. And it’s not only a lake, but also an “Experience Canada Alley.” Yes there’ll be a lake, but there’ll also be docks, canoe sculptures, and a suspended cityscape. Stephen Harper was on the defensive about the project, which he called a “marketing pavilion,” sure to impress foreign journalists. Whether anyone will be impressed by the word “alley” in the title, which conjures up images of garbage and muggings, remains to be seen.
Are you too dumb to figure out which side of the street to park on? Well, why didn’t you say so? Your stupidity might just get you out of a parking ticket. Found a sudden renewed interest in spirituality? Great! Going to church can get you off the hook as well, as long as you get a note from a priest. Are you sick, old, or live far outside the city? You might just have a case! The heretofore “confidential” Parking Ticket Cancellation Guidelines [PDF] have been released and it turns out there are a ton of ways to avoid paying up.