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Newsstand: June 5, 2010
lllustration by Clayton Hanmer/Torontoist.
Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Bart works at the Maison Derriere? There was music, there was dancing. It was hilarity. Well, it turns out Oakville was lucky enough to have its own version until those no-fun cops called an end to the depravity. OK, so maybe all of Oakville didn’t come together for a big sing-along at the place, but there was sex being exchanged for money. Three women are facing charges after the Drug and Morality Bureau (there’s a morality bureau, who knew?) searched the “massage centre” and found it was not a place of holistic healing, but a “common bawdy house.”
The results of a poll about the mayoral race show that Sarah Thomson was, at one point, more popular than Joe Pantalone. Nearly five hundred Toronto residents were asked about who they would vote for: George Smitherman came out on top (34%), followed by Rob Ford (27%), Thomson (14%), Rocco Rossi (13%), Pantalone (9%), and Giorgio Mammoliti (4%). An earlier poll had Pantalone beating out Thomson. The May poll also found that the majority of respondents want reform of the TTC board, and more than half want the number of city council members pared down.
The G8/G20 is causing everything to go off the rails, and eliciting bad puns at the same time. Via trains will not be making their usual stop at Union during the summits. Stations in suburbia, like the one in Oakville, will be used instead—probably so travellers get a chance to check out the bawdy house—and passengers with connections will be shuttled. GO and the TTC will be running as usual, but are giving a heads-up to expect delays because of possible security issues above ground.
And speaking of detours, stay off the roads this weekend, because between Portugal Day, a kids’ triathlon, and a bazillion (two) fundraisers, driving’s going to be a bitch. Landsdowne Avenue is closed from Bloor to College on Saturday, as is part of Kingston Road. Conlins Road is a no go, and last but not least, sections of the DVP and Gardiner will be off limits. Oh, and don’t try to take the Yonge-University-Spadina subway line after midnight this weekend, ’cause stations will be closed between Union and St. George. Make Ariel proud and use your legs.
Brains into theoretical physics and lesser minds boggled by the mysteries of time travel in Back to the Future will be stoked to hear that famed scientist Stephen Hawking arrives in Ontario this weekend. Hawking followed in Isaac Newton’s footsteps and became Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge. He holds a Distinguished Research Chair at Waterloo’s Perimeter Institute and the Stephen Hawking Centre is being built as we speak. The man who aims to have a “complete understanding of the universe” will hold a televised lecture to be shown across the country on June 20.
C-O-N-F…onto one of these lesser minds: Canada lost a sweet shot at lingual greatness yesterday, when it was let down by an eleven-year-old girl. Torontonian Laura Newcombe made it into the final ten at the Scripps National Spelling Bee in the U.S., but for some reason couldn’t spell “confiserie,” the widely unknown and seldom used French word for candy store. Newcombe was the only Canadian taking part in the Bee.
And finally, pools are open early, take a dip, weee!…next weekend.